David Clark Willoughby

Even before we met our baby boy, we loved him more than I could ever imagine. It's like our hearts could explode because of the amount of love we felt for the perfect person growing inside of me. I wonder if this is how God loves us? Probably even more.

We wanted everything to be perfect. I stopped eating deli meat, no sushi, no alcohol, no artificial sweeteners, I stopped running at my doctor's recommendation. I read all the pregnancy books, each week learning about how my baby was growing. Rob and I were on a mission to find the perfect place to start our nesting. We picked out a name - David Clark. David after my dad, who passed away in 2001, and Clark is Rob's middle name and also a Willoughby family name. I felt like we were doing everything right. I promised God that we would raise David with all the love we could give and do everything in our power to keep him safe. If there was any doubt of God's love for us before, there was none now. We have never felt more blessed and I had everything a person could want - a caring family, a wonderful husband, and a baby on the way. He was our greatest blessing.

We sometimes learn, not by our choice, that God has other plans for us. And more likely than not, we won't get it. If we understood everything that happened, then why would we need God? I never understood why my dad died 8 years ago. I still don't understand it and I most likely never will. I'm now okay with that. I don't understand why our precious baby boy never made it to this world, and I know I will never understand that. But just as God showed His love for us by giving us David, He has continually showed His love by the amazing friends and family we have and the peace their prayers and love bring us. Our little David left this world, and on the same day 8 years ago, my dad had an aneurysm that ended up taking his life. Coincidence? I'm not sure I believe in coincidences because I think God has His hand in everything.

One day when the time is right - when my body has healed, and most importantly, when we are ready, we know God will bless us again with a child that we will love unconditionally, but our David will always be in our hearts.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." -Proverbs 3: 5-6

Baby Bump

Can you see it? Officially 16 weeks, 1 day.

House Hunting

Or rather, condo hunting. We can't afford an ACTUAL house in southern California. Well maybe we could, but we'd have to relocate to the... brace for it... the VALLEY. Which used to be totally out of the question... remember Andrea from Beverly Hills, 90210? Now we're not saying we're "90210" people, remember, we can't even afford a house.

Anyway, I said "used to be totally out of the question," because Rob found a sweet house out in Corona that was actually in our price range. Of course, it's still a short-sale. (The step before foreclosure that people sometimes do to "buy time" and stop the foreclosure process, so we've learned.) And short-sales are hard to get. You basically put in a bid, assume you won't get it, and move on. But Corona is still pretty far from the beach, but living near the beach comes at a high price.

It was a pretty cool experience getting out there with a realtor to check out properties around Orange County. We looked at many different areas, focusing on the north part of the county. We'll check out the other half another day. At first we wanted to stay pretty close to the beach, but after seeing condos in our price range by the beach, moving slightly inland may be our best route. ALL of them were short-sales, and one was a foreclosure. I actually felt pretty awkward walking through someone's home while they're going about their day, hoping they get to keep their house, while we're scouting it out to buy. Guilty or something.

One thing I noticed though was that the people living there had really NICE TVs... like big flat screen TVs. And a few of them... one in each room. I don't really get it. They're almost losing their home because they can't pay their mortgage, but they've spent a small fortune on a nice televisions? Rob and I are still using his old school TV he had from waaaayyy before we even met. I guess it's about priorities. But ok, I understand, everyone's situation is completely different and I have no idea what life has handed to them, but I couldn't help but notice.

We've tried to save our money to travel around the world and we've been fortunate that we've seen A LOT. I will have these memories forever. Like how the best goat cheese I ever ate was in Amsterdam, and how Rob and I couldn't stop laughing (and being laughed at) in Japan while eating Takoyaki, or seeing geishas! Or how my friend Ashley and I had the most delicious crepe in the Montmarte district in Paris after touring the Sacre Coeur, and that Dublin had the friendliest people I had ever met and not to mention drinking a Guinness IN IRELAND , and watching the changing of the guards in London - that is an amazing show they do every single day, and of course, surfing in Australia! And I'm not even close to being done with seeing the world! And my kids will see the world too and experience how other cultures live. A nice television will last until you get another new one.

But now we're saving because we'd like to upgrade from our tiny one bedroom apartment with a baby on the way. We want a home. We're not talking about a mansion or anything crazy, because we're shopping for a 2 or 3 bedroom condo. We'd actually love to move back to Santa Barbara, but we honestly can't afford to live there. For example, I did a search for condos in Santa Barbara, and nothing popped up for under $800k. So yeah.

But who knows... is that a ukulele I hear in our future?