baby's first christmas

This year we celebrated Christmas a few days after actual Christmas day, but of course it was worth the wait to have Rob here! We did attend a Christmas Eve service with Mimi and Papa, and Christian even saw his best friend, Joey. And we also had a Christmas Day brunch at Mimi and Papa's that consisted of french toast casserole (yum!), holiday Hallmark movies, lots of cookies, and naps.

{Christmas Day brunch}

{opening presents with Mimi}

{"...but I'd rather eat it, Mama."}

{with floor to ceiling and wall to wall windows, my in-laws have the best view}

{he rolled halfway - but clearly he was more comfortable like this}

{Christian showing Papa his toy humuhumunukukuapua'a that he's getting ready to eat}

I think Christian was quite pleased with all of his new toys. After visiting his Nannie in Virginia and playing with all the fun, loud, music making, flashing things she had, I knew we had to step up our "toy" game. Santa brought quite a few fun things to chew and bang on that flash and make noise. And books too! Since Papa told us he loved "There's a Wocket in my Pocket!" by Dr. Seuss, Rob read it to Christian before bed tonight. I think it's Christian's new favorite. Definitely.

Merry Christmas!!

Or as they say here on the islands, Mele Kalikimaka!

We'll be having a Christmas brunch with Mimi and Papa. I think I heard something about a french toast casserole. Can we say YUM?! Rob had to fly off to Korea, but will be back on Monday. I think we'll celebrate Christmas "officially" on Tuesday. Oh, the life of an airline family. It's forecasted to be in the eighties with rain showers. A perfect day for cozying up with hot cocoa (you heard me right) and Christmas movies. 

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord." -Luke 2:10-11 

Good news. Great joy. For everyone. 

We hope you have a Merry Christmas and a very blessed new year!

still growing...

baby's first plane ride

To say I was a little apprehensive about flying with a three month old all the way from Hawaii to Virginia would be an understatement. I was nervous about how Christian would react, especially on the redeye to Las Vegas, since it was right smack in the middle of his bedtime. And I worried about his ears popping. I've worked enough flights to know that if babies are going to scream, it's going to be for take off and landing due to the pressure change. I did not want my little guy to be in pain. Thankfully, with nursing and the fascination of the seat back inflight entertainment screen, he never seemed bothered.

{hanging out before takeoff on his first flight, HNL-LAS}

But our little guy is super laid back. So why did I worry? Fear of the unknown, I guess. But obviously Christian has flying in his blood (like his Mommy and Daddy) because he was a champ! I couldn't believe my eyes when I woke up during the redeye and according to the "moving map" we were already almost over land. Christian had slept almost the entire way in his car seat! He did cry out once, but once I nursed him, he was good to go. Thankfully, we also had Mimi and Papa along for the ride. A HUGE help! And the rest of the way to Virginia, he was fantastic. Flirting with the flight attendants (future pilot??) and smiling at everyone who looked his way!

{Las Vegas to Charlotte}

On the way back from Virginia, I was on my own up until I landed in Las Vegas, where Rob was going to meet me. I was a little nervous about not having any help, but honestly, it was fine. I have never experienced the kindness of so many strangers. I don't know if I looked completely out of sorts (probably) and they felt bad for me, or what, but everyone was so nice! Businessmen carrying my bags, gate agents yelling for people to clear a path for my stroller, random guy helping me lift my stroller out of the "gate connector" bus, random woman asking if I needed any help, and the list goes on.

When we got to Vegas things went from bad to worse to completely fine, as they often do. Since we were flying to Honolulu as standby passengers (non-revs as we airline people say), there had to be open seats for us to be able to get on that flight. Technically we only needed one seat. Rob could ride in the cockpit and Christian could sit on my lap. But soon we went from numbers eleven and twelve on the standby list (with sixteen open seats) to numbers forty-four and forty-five (still with sixteen open seats). Crap. And if things couldn't get any worse, all of a sudden we were two hours delayed, which turned into twelve hours delayed. Off to a hotel we go for a now 5:45am departure. Christian had his first night in Vegas! After a long night of gambling and seeing the shows, he slept the entire way to Hawaii.

{baby snuggles in Las Vegas}

{MGM Grand Hotel & Casino}

Thirty-two hours after leaving Richmond, we were home and Christian did great the entire way!! So great that we're hoping to spend this New Years in Japan! Kanpai!

nothing in the world

There is nothing in this world that makes me happier than my two boys... even in the middle of the Las Vegas airport after being awake for almost twenty-four hours, despite thousands of miles traveled and being utterly exhausted.

don't get me wrong...

I have been enjoying my time here in Virginia despite the cold weather. Christian has gotten to spend lots of time with his Nannie, Grandpa George, and Uncle Kyle, meet lots of new people (blog post later), his great-grandma, lots of aunties, and friends... and more to come in our last few days here. We have been busy busy busy!!

But when my husband sends me pictures like this, while telling me about his afternoon surfing on the North Shore and the eighty degree temps, I can help but be a little jealous and crave that warm humid air, driving down the H-1 listening to Island 98 on the radio. (Why doesn't Virginia have an "island music" radio station?!?)

Yeah, this just confirms it. Living in Hawaii is as awesome as it sounds. 

Virginia, here we come!

I can't believe the time has come - we are leaving Hawaii and headed to Virginia for most of December. It sounds slightly backwards to say, "I'm excited to leave Hawaii to visit Virginia!" But that sums it up exactly! I miss my Mama and I'm looking forward to spending some good quality time with her. The last time I was there was for my baby shower and I was about 24 weeks pregnant. That 24 weeks pregnant has now turned into a smiling, giggling 3 month old baby boy!

 

{the last time Mom held Christian! so tiny!}

As excited as I am, the preparation for this trip has my head spinning. I would say that Rob and I are confident, seasoned travelers. But traveling with a baby, I feel like the inexperienced "holiday traveler." You know, the ones with 209384023984 bags for a three day trip? With Rob working the past few days, it's been a challenge trying to get stuff done with a little one. Thankfully, Mimi came to my rescue today and I was able to run in and out of stores quickly!! I've made list after list of all the things that need to be done, need to be packed, and I finally think I've crossed most of it off.

Tomorrow we'll leave on the red-eye to Las Vegas and from there to Charlotte (I think??) and landing in Richmond at 9:30pm. That's approximately twelve hours on an airplane and fifteen hours of travel time if you include the time between flights. God help us. We're bringing the car seat just in case we can get a seat for Christian, however I fully anticipate holding him most of the time. He's pretty mellow, but generally hates the car seat after too long. I'll have my Ergo too. I plan to nurse him on takeoff and descent. And I have a nice big leather tote that will double as a diaper bag and my "personal item." Since all sixty loads of laundry are done, the cat has food, Christmas cards have been addressed and stamped, my letter to Pastor Dan about our rose has been written (blog to come later), and the last remaining thank you notes are done, I can fully concentrate on packing tomorrow.

Virginia, here we come!! 

new traditions

One thing I want my son (and future children) to remember as an adult are family traditions from childhood, like I do. This year for Thanksgiving, we (hopefully) started a new tradition. First, as an "airline family," holidays most likely won't be celebrated on their exact day, and since Rob had to go to work, we celebrated turkey day on Wednesday. But no matter what day we celebrate Thanksgiving on, I hope it'll always be as a picnic on the beach! A day filled with family, sun, sand, good waves, a charcoal grill, and lots of laughs. And that's exactly what this year's Thanksgiving day entailed.

Rob setting up our encampment. I swear it's so awesome I could live on the beach under that tent. 

I even did a little bit of reading on my new Kindle, while...

 

Rob surfed, of course! The waves were so good! But Mama learned a hard lesson last week about surfing and nursing right afterward. Baby doesn't like cold milk!

There was laughing. Lots of giggles and chubby cheek smiles!

Let the cooking begin! Our whole turkey dinner was cooked on this awesome little grill. The smell of charcoal took me right back to when my Dad cooked hamburgers on our old charcoal grill.

 

Rob and Papa needed a way to keep the potatoes warm while they cooked the turkey. Bury it in the sand!

Thanks to Mimi and her delicious cooking, we had turkey tenderloins, a cranberry dressing, sweet potatoes (my oh my, they were delicious!), fruit salad, and asparagus.

My new favorite family photo! Baby's first Thanksgiving.

 

Does this cuteness need any explanation?? 

We stayed until the sun went down, and sunsets in Hawaii never disappoint! We even saw the green flash, something you always look for while watching a sunset. And in the year I've lived here, I've witnessed a handful.

After the sun set we packed up and headed home from the North Shore. As we drove home we talked about how perfect this day was. The beach + family = the best there is. But I can't help but think about how much I wish my mom and family were a part of this day too. The holidays can be bittersweet. I am so excited to celebrate, but it always makes me miss my family too. Thankfully, being a stay at home mom, and being able to fly for free/cheap, means I can spend lots of time in Virginia as well! I mean, Christmas isn't Christmas without a little bit of cold weather, right?

peanut butter & chocolatey goodness

Don't know if you've ever heard of the website Pinterest, but it's my new addiction. Without being totally confusing, or writing a whole blog post about how much I love Pinterest, I'll try to keep it simple. It's a big bulletin board of your favorite things found on the internet... or other "pins" by other users of Pinterest. Sort of like all your internet bookmarks into neat little categories with pictures. You can pin ANYTHING. I've already pinned tons of DIY crafts that involve techniques I know nothing about, like sewing. Pretty hair styles. Fashion. Books I want to read. Places I want to travel. And my favorite "board" - Food I Want to Eat.

While perusing other people's pins (OPP), I came across these! Originally from this website. And for the love of all things peanut butter and chocolate, I knew I had to make them. So I did.

They are Peanut Butter Cup Bars and they'll make you wanna smack your mama they're so good.

 

These are so ridiculously easy to make. Not sure if the grocery store even sells Graham Cracker Crumbs, but we couldn't find any, so I made my own using Graham Crackers, a zip lock baggy, and Rob's Kleen Kanteen water bottle. I also sprinkled some on top. And the only reason why I don't make these every single day is because I'm sure they have about a million calories and I am trying (ever so slowly) to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But if you're a Reese Peanut Butter Cup lover, like myself, you have to try these.

the weather outside is frightful

Ok. Maybe not that frightful. But to me, this feels cold. Not chilly, but cold.

Go ahead. You can hate me. I understand. And no, it probably won't get any colder than this through the Winter months either.

We live on the 12th floor and get a great cross breeze when the trade winds are blowing, which was crucial to me surviving pregnancy during the summer. We rarely run our A/C because it's one of those janky window units that sits above the main door and doesn't cool the bedroom anyway. So needless to say, our windows stay open every single day. The only time we shut them is during the afternoon rain showers that tend to blow right into our living room and bedroom. And sometimes during the night. Fortunately (for me), it's Rob's side of the bed that gets wet during the middle of the night showers.

But this morning I woke up freezing! I immediately put on socks, long pants, and a long sleeve shirt. We've already been dressing Christian in warmer jammies. Well, his usual long sleeve footie pajamas with an added pair of pants and socks. We swaddle his arms, so his upper half stays warm.

 

{Yeah, that's a little blurry. Sorry. So stinkin' cute though!}

And Baxter manages to stay warm snuggled up next to me. Every single night.

Oh yeah, and this year Thanksgiving dinner will be a picnic on the beach. New tradition? Guess I'll have to bring a sweatshirt for that, just in case.

how fast they grow

FINALLY!

This week my best super stew friend, Billy, made it out to Hawaii for a layover. I've been dying for him to meet Christian. He was actually the first person, outside of family, to know I was pregnant. For those that don't know, Billy and I insta-bonded while in Barbie Boot Camp aka flight attendant training when we both found out we were going to be based out of LAX, not ANC. We definitely thought we'd be spending time living in a crashpad in Anchorage, flying arctic turns, doing the "milk run" on the 737-200 (which our airline no longer has), and basically being cold, but none of that happened. We did however share a crashpad in Redondo Beach with lots of other flight attendants and one super creepy (no, like SUPER CREEPY) 40-something year old man who wasn't a flight attendant but wanted to live with a bunch of flight attendants who ended up having a RECORD (yeah, way to go landlord), have margaritas at Cantina Real (on days off, of course!), ride bikes along the strand, and other fun beachy LA things.

{bonfire at Huntington Beach}

We've flown lots of trips together too! And there's one thing about flying with friends, you probably shouldn't do it. TOTALLY joking, Billy! (Yes, I'm referring to that horrid trip out of Chicago). Exploring downtown Vancouver was probably one of my favorites.

 {doing our best to channel the slightest bit of glamour on our way to YVR}

 

{Billy has all the luck! But, he DID get me Rob Pattinson's autograph. Thanks Billy!}

So I was very exited when Billy said he picked up a Honolulu! We had a great day catching up over lunch, walking around Magic Island, sipping coffee, all before he had to return on the red-eye that night. And he FINALLY got to meet Christian!

 

He's a natural!

2 months

I'm glad I'm getting around to writing this before Christian is 3 months old! But as expected, my life is quite preoccupied at the moment! And by the time he's sleeping, where I more time to write, I'm too tired to actually do it. Vicious cycle.

But life with this little guy is amazing. I just can't put it into words. Everyday I think about what a little blessing he is to our family, and I can't believe he's ours! How did we get so lucky?! I would say that we have a very very very easy baby. He's so mellow and seems to really like people. So far he's met quite a few of my flight attendant friends that have been here on layovers and he's just as chill as can be being passed around and held by "strangers" - his new aunties and uncles!

 

{Christian and Sammy}

 

{Christian and Cherie}

One of the biggest new discoveries is Christian's voice. He's talking up a storm! And by talking I mean, making mostly "ooohs" and "aaahs," but it's like he really does try to have a conversation with you. He watches your mouth so intently and tries to make his move too, and if you stick your tongue out at him, he'll stick his back out. I just love it! I really had no idea that having a kid would be so much fun and bring so many laughs to my day.

 

{a little video}

Finnair Flashmob

I nominate my bestie Billy to head up the first ever Alaska Airlines flight attendant flashmob!

what's in a name?

Quite a few people have asked us about Christian's name, especially since he has two middle names and one of those is Hawaiian. When Rob and I became pregnant in 2009, we found out we were having a boy. Since Rob's name (Robert Clark) pays homage to his roots, we wanted to do the same for our son. We decided on David Clark. David, honoring my father, and Clark honoring Rob's great grandfather - Clark Christian Shaffer. Unfortunately, things in life do not always turn out the way we expect (or hope) them to. Even though David Clark never made it to this world, he was our son and that was his name.

When I became pregnant the second time and found out we were having a boy, we knew (again) we wanted to give our son a name that represented where he came from, his ancestry. I love the idea of family names, and passing down names from generation to generation. I feel like, it's such a great story to tell! I have my Dad to thank for that - he was very into genealogy and finding out exactly where our family came from. He spent hours digging on the internet, visiting cemeteries, and learning about our family. As a matter of fact, my grandfather changed the spelling of my (maiden) last name.

However, one other thing we wanted was for Christian to have a Hawaiian name too. A name that Rob and I came up with together, and a name representing where Christian is from. The problem was, Rob and I couldn't agree on a Hawaiian name, so we threw the idea to the wayside. Occasionally it'd come up during the pregnancy, but yeah, we just couldn't agree. Being here in Hawaii means so much to us. It's not just some place we ended up having to move to because of Rob's job, for once. We wanted to be here... we are surfers after all. It took many tears, prayers, and a lot of faith before we finally made it to the islands. It was a long journey of growth for Rob and I before it all worked out. And now, I thank God for the "delay." It wouldn't mean nearly as much if Rob got the job here right away, and that's exactly what we wanted to happen. We wouldn't have an awesome testimony of God's perfect timing if we didn't have to rely on Him and wait. Or made lots of awesome, amazing friends in the meantime!

One day while reading a blog, yes, a blog, I came across the name/word Makana. I instantly loved it and the meaning. Gift. Makana means "gift" in Hawaiian. We agreed that would also be a part of his name, it would be the name that tied Christian Reid together. I believe that all children are gifts from God, and Christian is definitely our gift. I had a "high-risk" pregnancy with him, with a few scares at the beginning. More than once, I cried, begged and pleaded with God to let us have this baby. It wasn't until I hit thirty-something weeks that I really felt like I could really breathe and enjoy this pregnancy. He is such a blessing in our lives in about (more than) a million different ways. Having Christian has put God's love for us into slightly better perspective. Just slightly. If God loves us more than I love this little guy, then I can hardly wrap my mind around a love like that.



Christian - Christian is from Rob's side and this one goes back quite a few generations.

The name Christian originally started with his great-great-great-great grandfather, Christian John, born in 1813.
His son was Samuel Christian, born in 1847 (his great-great-great grandfather).
His son was Clark Christian, born in 1898 (his great-great grandfather).
Clark Christian's daughter is Helen Marie, who is Christian's great grandmother - we call her Gigi.
Her son is Richard Robert, who is Christian's grandfather, and Rob's dad! Follow that? Whew.

Reid - Reid is from my side.

Reid was originally the maiden name of Christian's great-great grandmother, Georgia Reid, born in 1887.
Her son was Donald Reid, Christian's great grandfather.
His son was David Reid, Christian's grandfather, and my dad!

Makana - Makana is a first generation name, that represents not only exactly what it means, "gift," but where he is from.

So, what's in a name? For Christian Reid Makana, a lot. A solid name from a long lineage of two families, together.

a birth story - part 2

a birth story - part 1

We had previously decided that I would labor at home as long as possible before going to hospital. And since I didn't know how long this day was going to end up being, I wanted to eat breakfast! We did our normal routine, and I finished getting everything ready we needed for the hospital and called our parents. At around 10am, we headed down the street. (Luckily our hospital is only a mile away). And then I waited in the waiting room...and waited... tick tock. It was so nonchalant. Rob drops me off at the door, I go to the elevator, girl standing their with a stroller looks at me and says, "oh so close!" (or something like that), to which I reply, "Yep. Today. Going upstairs now." Nothing to see here. I get upstairs and then wait in the waiting room. I make sure to tell the nurse that my water did break and I am already 4cm dilated...so I probably shouldn't wait TOO long. Then the contractions start. Nothing too painful, but they start.

 {"I'm going to be a dad!" I love this picture of Rob taken at the hospital.}

We finally go to triage. A tiny little room where they hook me up to hear the baby's heart rate, and to see my contractions on paper. When they check me, I'm 8cm dilated. Whoa, what? I asked if I'd be having this baby in triage. She said, no. They would take me to an OR. Uh... I was just joking, but they were waiting for a delivery room to open up!

 

{In triage. Still smiling. Yes, my fan says, "Pregnant Woman Are Hot!"}

When I did eventually get my own room, we setup the music and I immediately sit on the "birthing ball." On a normal day it's just one of those big exercise balls. So here I was, 8cm dilated and the contractions were manageable, not pain-free, but manageable. But not for long. They started coming hard and they started coming fast, and I was still determined to go all natural. But, I'm not going to lie, the doubt is there that this all-natural stuff ain't gonna happen. The only relief I could find was sitting on that ball. My focal point? A spot on the floor, and I couldn't do any other Lamaze breathing other than "slow chest breathing." (In theory, it's the 1st Lamaze breathing technique you would use). Although not as dramatic as it's portrayed on TV, I thought if I did the "he-he" breathing, I would hyperventilate.

The nurse comes in and checks me. 9cm dilated. "Can I get I still get an epidural?????" She said yes, but Rob totally coached me through my doubt. I only had ONE centimeter to go. I could totally do this. Um...I can? I was also throwing up with each contraction. And I know that sounds horrible, but in all honesty, it took my mind off the pain. I was getting to the point of, "I am going to push this baby out RIGHT NOW because I can't manage it anymore." But, I kept going. And oddly enough, the nurses and doctors (residents) were impressed at how "calm" I was being and that I was doing this au naturale. They originally doubted me, but now they thought I was a rockstar. In a weird way, that also motivated me to keep going.

When I had finally reached 9.5 centimeters, the nurse had some not so good news. My cervix hadn't completely thinned out on one side. So, until that happened, even if I were to reach 10 centimeters, I couldn't push. I thought I would die. She had me lay on my side to help it along (somehow), but those were the worst contractions. I laid there for an eternity.

Finally, it's time to push. They kept asking me if I had the urge to push, and I never really remember feeling that I did. But since thundercats were go, I was getting this baby out of me. And then I pushed for 2 hours. Two HOURS. Man alive. I couldn't tell anymore if I was even having a contraction... I had to ask the nurse, "is this a contraction?" I'm serious.

Eventually the doctor said he HAD to come out, his heart tones were dropping. By that point, I didn't care if they cut my abdomen open right then and there. I was exhausted and was starting to feel like I had nothing left to give. I was crying, I was on oxygen between contractions, I was frustrated, I wanted this baby in my arms two hours ago. This is EXACTLY why birthing a baby on your back is THE WORST POSSIBLE way to do it - you're completely going against gravity. Hoping to give myself one more ounce of motivation to push him out, they brought in a mirror (at my request) so I could see his head. But it was too...distracting. I told them to take it away. I could even feel his head, but it just wasn't happening. It's kind of surreal. Doctors, nurses, my husband - they were all cheering for me. It was kind of awesome in a way. I was a rockstar.

Finally, the doc said it, "Amber, I have to cut." Episiotomies are not "routine" anymore, and I had hoped that I wouldn't have to have one, but the baby had to come out. Lo and behold, right after that, he did and was put immediately onto my chest. A crying, screaming, absolutely perfect in every single way, baby boy. I can't think of any words to describe that moment. Relief. Love. So in love. A love that has no words, a love that I didn't know existed. Unreal.

{"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." - James 1:17}

Christian Reid Makana Willoughby was born on August 18th, 2011 at 6:34pm. Weighing in at 8lbs .2oz, and 21.5 inches long. Big boy.

Rob cut the cord, as dads do. And I don't know how he did it, but he managed to record video, take pictures, and encourage me for hours, remain completely calm, all while holding a little mini battery operated fan pointed at my face. The entire time. My hero. Having Christian has made me love Rob more than ever before. It's just different. Everything changes.

{First family photo.}

I look exhausted because I was exhausted. I wasn't this tired after running a marathon. No joke. My labor was a total of about eight hours. Not bad considering the average first time labor is fourteen hours. But my doctor told me, women who go drug free don't usually push for two hours. She said that's more typical with an epidural. Lucky me.

In the end, not much happened the way I thought it would. I don't know exactly what I thought would happen, but in my head, this birth story wasn't it. We had a "birth plan" written out that all the nurses and doctors had a copy of - our wishes for the labor and delivery. And in the spirit of being real, (this is my birth story, after all), things WILL happen that you don't plan on. For me, the umbilical cord detached itself from the placenta before it was delivered. The doctor had to, for lack of a better way to say it, reach in, several times, and hand deliver it. Let's just say, I feel bad for anyone taking a hospital tour that day. There was NO amount of pain throughout labor or delivery that even touched what was happening. To say that was traumatic, would be an understatement. Fortunately, for any expecting mamas reading this (Liisa), my doctor said that was NOT common, and no one I know has ever even heard of that happening.

A few things that did go according to plan: we were able to have immediate skin to skin contact (this was really important to me), delay cutting the cord, delay eye "drops" until the absolute last minute (so my baby could see me!!), no continuous IV, and freedom of movement during labor. Getting a healthy baby in our arms, in the safest way possible is the goal, and thank God, that went exactly according to plan.

a birth story - part 1

When I first got pregnant I knew I wanted to have a natural, unmedicated (no epidural) birth. I figured so many women before me had done it, I could too. How hard could it really be??

To prepare, we decided to find a "child birth class," and since Lamaze was a reasonable price and had been around since the beginning of time, we decided to go for it. We went to six weeks of classes. Our teacher was a little on the eccentric side, to say the least. But it was quite entertaining. She's been teaching Lamaze for 30 something years, has had 3 "Lamaze" births, blah blah blah. Since the classes were inexpensive and I had come to understand through my research that if you want to have an unmedicated birth, you had to prepare for it. If you go in with the mindset of, "oh I want to go natural, but I'll just see how it goes...," then in all honesty, it probably won't happen. Sorry.

For six weeks we practiced all kinds of breathing techniques that would be used through each contraction depending on it's intensity. We were told to have a focal point - something to look at through the contraction - a picture of a pretty sunset, a flower, whatever. But not only that, we learned about the process of giving birth. How labor starts, the different phases of labor, different "tools" they bring into the delivery room, all kinds of medication they can give you (besides an epidural), the effects of having an epidural, how to make my birth "sacred," even if I were to have a C-section. I learned that it's actually very uncommon for a woman's water to break before making it to the hospital, like in the movies. All of that stuff was all really informative and very helpful. Rob learned to be my "Guardian of Courage." Yep, that's what she called the coaches. How we didn't laugh the whole way through, I don't know.

In a sense, you could say I was "lucky." At my 36 week appointment, I found out I was already 3cm dilated. I thought that meant I was going to have that baby that day. That's not what that means. The next week I was still 3cm dilated. They use all these things to determine when baby is ready - effacement (how thin the cervix is), dilation (how open the cervix is), and station (where exactly is the baby - up high or "engaged" in the pelvis). Baby stayed up high. Even the day I went to the hospital, he was up high. Not really something I wanted to hear. I just decided to look at this as, well only 7cm to go... and I didn't even have to do anything to get to 3cm. By 39 weeks, I was at 4cm. And at 39 weeks, you are ready to have that child.

On Monday, we all hiked Makapu'u. I was trying to get this show on the road, naturally, of course. On Wednesday, we walked to Chinatown, I sat on a bouncy exercise ball, and I ate lots of pineapple. Thursday morning (at 39 weeks, 2 days) I woke up to fix coffee, and my water broke (so much for "that rarely happens"). It wasn't a big gush, also like you see in the movies, but I knew what was going on. I knew the "real" contractions would soon follow. I told Rob, and he responded with something along the lines of, "For real?" For real. We knew that on this day, we were finally going to meet our little man.

my loves, my life

how's baxter?

A question that a lot of people have asked me is, "how's Baxter doing?," because everyone knows, Baxter is like a child to us. Spoiled and constantly loved on. At night, he slept on my head, or my pillow, or was the little spoon. He would lounge in the hallway for hours a day. But now that the baby is here, admittedly, life has changed somewhat for Baxter.

{day 1}

 

Our primary focus has shifted to all things baby. It's just the way it goes. I'm either nursing him, holding him, reading to him, changing his diaper, talking to him, or trying to get him to sleep. Rob too... well, not the nursing part. And Baxter's world has been turned upside down because he's not getting all of our attention.

To say I wasn't worried about him the month leading up to Christian's arrival would be a lie. I worried how he'd react to a baby crying. So I would play YouTube videos of babies crying. (Honest truth). And he'd immediately run away. Crap. We setup Christian's bassinet, which of course, Baxter thought was especially for him. So we had to train/yell/squirt/do whatever we could to keep Baxter out of Christian's future sleeping arrangements.

Now that it's been 6 weeks, I can offer a report on how Baxter is doing and adjusting. He's fine. At first, he definitely didn't know what to think of this... thing that makes a lot of noise. And when Christian started crying, Baxter would immediately exit the room. Now, he just kinda looks at him. And then looks at me like, "make it stop, please." For the most part, he ignores the baby. Of course he sniffs his head or his toes every once in a while, but that's about it.

Apparently Baxter has learned that when baby cries, Mommy or Daddy picks him up. So now, especially at night, if the baby even makes a peep, Baxter comes from wherever he is and wants to sit on my lap and be in my face. Yep. He's thinking, "well, if I just force myself onto her, she'll have to leave that thing alone." Sorry kitty. Also, when I nurse Christian, he most definitely wants to be on the nursing pillow with him, which he tries at least once a day to do before settling down next to me where I pet Baxter and nurse Christian simultaneously. A learned skill.

I do admit that I have ignored him more than I want to, especially at the beginning, but now I'm trying to love on him whenever I see him and my hands aren't too full. We don't keep the door open as much because it's just too much noise (and people walking by) to deal with right now. But occasionally we do. Now that I've temporarily moved my sleeping arrangements to the sofa, that has posed a small problem. There's just no room for me and a 15lb cat on the couch. But, he still tries, and usually I still let him. Unless I'm extra cranky. I refuse to let him on my pillow because there is absolutely nowhere for me to go, so he'll settle back into being the little spoon. He wants nothing to do with Rob, sleeping in the queen-size bed, all alone. Nope, nothing. He knows not to go near the bassinet because all we have to do is show him the purple spray bottle and he's gone.

Bringing baby home was a big change for all of us. And we're doing as much as we can to make sure Baxter knows he's still the number one kitty, we love him, and a part of this family just the same.

B is for...

Bob, of course!

one month

We have a one month old. Where has the time gone? No seriously, where? (Sorry, I'll probably say this every blog I write because I ask myself this everyday). It really doesn't seem like (over) a month ago we were on our way to the hospital knowing that we'd be meeting our little man later that day. (Birth story coming one day). Now 5 weeks later, we're slowly getting into the groove of being parents, learning the cries of our little guy, and being completely amazed at how much he's interacting with us.

At his one month appointment, the doctor was quite happy we made it the first month without a fever, which apparently requires hospitalization. Yikes. And yeah, he's growing like crazy. At the beginning I was worried I was going to have problems breastfeeding  because as natural as it may be, there is nothing about it that feels natural, especially at the beginning. And it's quite disheartening when on my 2nd day in the hospital the nurse tried to recommend that I supplement with formula. Well, I'm glad I shut her down, because he did not need to be supplemented thankyouverymuch.

Here are the "one month" stats:
Weight - 11lbs 2.6oz
Length - 23 inches

So yeah, we have a big boy. I'm completely convinced that he's going to be tall like his daddy. He's in the 90th percentile for length (height) and weight. Meaning that only 10% of babies his age are bigger than him. Dude.

{one month family photo shoot}

Our little grom has a seemingly mellow temperament. That's not to say that he doesn't fuss, because duh, all babies do, but it's becoming more predictable and a tiny bit easier to figure out why. Tiny bit. Very tiny bit. There's a checklist: diaper? time to eat? needs to burp? too tired? over stimulated? We just kinda go through the "checklist" and sometimes we find the culprit, sometimes we don't. And we do what we can to sooth him and eventually, whenever all is right in his world, he stops crying. I do feel quite lucky that he doesn't seem to have the dreaded colic.

For the time being I've moved my sleeping space out to the living room. We call it our cave. With me being up during the night to feed him, we decided there's really no reason for BOTH Rob and I to not sleep. I have to be awake, Rob doesn't. BUT, if he hears Christian crying, he's up asking what he can do - change the diaper? rock him? We started this when he had his first trip, I wanted to make sure he was well rested. Because, who wants a tired pilot flying your airplane? That's what I thought.

Even through the sleepless nights that sometimes include tears (both me and baby) and me asking, "will I ever sleep again?" I am loving every single second of being a mommy. Everyday he does something new, and as his parents, we think quite remarkable. He's focusing on faces more, he's smiling more (it's NOT always gas people), he's mimicking facial expressions, holding his head up, tracking moving things with his eyes and just being less of a blob. These might not seem like great accomplishments, but when he didn't do them yesterday, it's awesome. And please don't get me wrong, I loved the newborn blob phase, but it's amazing to see how much he's growing in such short period of time, including outgrowing his "newborn" clothes. This leads me to something funny (not really) and terrifying that Rob said yesterday as we were "getting rid" of the stuff he's outgrown. Rob: "Don't you think we should save some of these clothes?" Me: "Why??" Rob: "Well because... for when... we have another one?" Me: blank stare.

Dear Christian

I first saw this commercial while I was pregnant and immediately thought, "what a fabulous idea!" The gist is: a dad creates an email account for his daughter when she's born and he sends her emails documenting things/life/milestones as she's growing up and then will show it to her one day in the future. Well, life kinda happened and I completely forgot about doing this. But Rob saw the commercial the other day and created an email account "for" Christian. And honestly I don't really see it as emailing him, but more like journaling the little things that we tend to forget. Because Christian is changing and growing so fast!

Even though he's only just over 3 weeks, I totally wish we had remembered to do this sooner. Well technically, Rob did remember, but he ran into a kind of a funny snag. When he went to create the email address, he put in Christian's birthday and Gmail wouldn't let him proceed because you know, something about the law says you have to be a certain age to have a Gmail account. But when Rob tried to change the birthday to a later date all sneaky like, Gmail was having none of it and shut him down. So it got put to the wayside until just a few days ago.

I'll admit, watching this commercial now makes me a little teary eyed.

So here's my first letter to our son:

Good morning Christian,

Probably one of my favorite parts of the day is the morning. I love our first sunrise nursing session... the sun is coming up and God always blesses us with a spectacular show. Most mornings the sunrise fills the sky with pinks, purples, and orange just as the sun comes up over the ridge. You nurse with your eyes closed, but I know soon you'll be wide awake. After you're done eating breakfast we head to the bedroom where Daddy is and snuggle and talk. And I can't think of anything else in this world that melts my heart more than seeing you and Daddy together. Kid, we're blessed. You have an awesome dad. Snuggle time is also so fun because you're becoming more and more alert with every day, and we know you're listening to us and really starting to check us out. Yesterday morning was awesome - you looked in my eyes for so long. Melt. We see you looking around staring at certain things around the room - mostly the curtains. We think it's the contrast you notice with the dark curtain against the blue sky out the window. You do that in the living room as well. Oh, you also like looking at the bike wheel spin and the pictures hanging on the wall. Especially the one of Daddy surfing. Not to worry, you'll be out there soon enough and I'm sure our already extensive surfboard collection will grow. Little grom.

This morning we gave you a bath. Sorry buddy, it's been a few days. It's been extremely busy these past few weeks with family visiting. Everyone is coming out here - a long journey for most - just to meet you! Your Nannie and Uncle Kyle just left on Friday to go all the way back to Virginia. I know that Nannie wishes she could be closer to you and see you every single day. And I want that too. She held you and snuggled you and kissed you as much as she could in the short 10 days she was here. We're trying to convince her to move out here. Uncle Kyle is 21 years old and a guy. He doesn't really know what to think about babies, except they cry a lot, but he assured me that he loves you and even held you for a little while. We're already kind of planning our trip out to Virginia, which will most likely be your first ride on an airplane. It's going to be a doozy. Hopefully before the year ends, we'll make it out. Most likely sometime in December. Just be warned, the winters in Virginia are a little different than the winters in Hawaii... either way, I'm excited to take you to Virginia!

Yesterday your Auntie Christen arrived from California. She was so excited to meet you! I'm pretty sure I saw tears when she first laid eyes on you. She held and kissed and loved on you too. Christian, you're just such a miracle and you're our little angel. Everyone knows that and everyone loves you so so so much, especially Mommy & Daddy. We can't get enough of you! Yesterday I went with Mimi and Auntie Christen to the Hawaii Women's Expo and I couldn't stop thinking about you! Were you crying? Were you hungry? Is everything ok? But of course, when we returned home, there you were happy as a clam on the couch between Daddy and Papa. Hanging out with the guys just as happy as can be. 

This leads me to another new development. Your Daddy has so far fed you TWO bottles. He says you gobble them up! This is bittersweet for me - because even though I know you're still getting the ultimate nourishment from me, just in a bottle form, it makes me a little sad that I'm not the one giving it to you. But I completely realize that it's also a good thing because 1. you take a bottle with no problem or nipple confusion 2. Mommy can sneak away for just a little bit to do whatever she needs to do or 3. if Mommy & Daddy ever have a date night, then we can rest assured that you are not starving. 

Every day is a new adventure with you. You are changing before our eyes. Every single day. I'm trying as hard as I can to drink up these moments and take about a million pictures because I don't want to miss anything. Oh, you're holding your head up like a champ! I was so impressed yesterday how much you did it compared to the day before. And I've also noticed that a few of your Newborn sized PJs aren't fitting as well anymore! You're growing so fast! I swear they fit 2 days ago. And at the ripe old age of almost 4 weeks, I think we're using what will be our last pack of Newborn diapers.

Ok, so I couldn't be happier that you're growing and becoming more and more alert every single day, but man I wish time would slow down just a little bit. But since that's not going to happen, I'll continue to take 100 photos of you a day, kiss you as much as I possibly can, and enjoy every second.

Love,
Mommy