36 weeks + happy monday!

Happy Monday! Pretend you are here...

Also, 36 weeks = 9 months pregnant! Hip hip hooray! One of the 15 pregnancy apps I have on my phone tells me that my baby is the size of a "ripe papaya" (mmmmm papaya...), which actually seems weird, because I hope my baby is bigger than a papaya. But not to worry, I cross-checked with another app and that one says baby girl is the size of a honeydew melon. That's more like it. I'm very serious when it comes to the fruit size of my baby.

Christian very sweetly suggested this past week that maybe I should have TWO babies. Well, I explained, God only gave us one baby, so less people you'll have to share your toys with. Also, I can officially say that we are DONE DUNZO FINITO after this precious sweet girl makes her appearance. I have reached my max at six pregnancies.

This week is also a big week because I get my cerclage taken out on Wednesday. The two stitches that were put in at 16 weeks have done their job and kept my baby inside of me longer than I think anyone expected. I'm nervous about that whole doctor's appointment. I mean, it required a spinal with a "twilight" sleep to get them in, but only requires extra strength Tylenol and a quick visit to the doctor to get them out. Cool. Rob and my packed hospital bag will be with me, but I am not banking on an April 1st delivery.

I have also decided, at the recommendation of two friends (hi Liisa, hi Bevin!) to do placenta encapsulation. I did research on it and more research on it and a little bit more research, and decided "yes," I want to give it a try. A huge thanks to Bevin who got the name of a woman who is going to do it for us. Yes, the idea totally weirded me out at first. Truth be told, it still kind of does. But I'm resting easy in the fact that, I don't have to handle my actual placenta, and that I'll be taking it as a pill. "Happy pills," as I've heard them called. Here's a little more info on it, if you're curious. Don't worry, no pictures!! But the benefits of increased milk production, more energy, faster postpartum recovery, and many more, I cannot ignore. Even though this is a relatively "new" thing here, it's been practiced for centuries in other cultures.

On a more serious note, I have had a bit of anxiety revolving around this stage of my pregnancy. I know a lot has to do with BEING 9 months pregnant, and I am generally overly emotional. Because yes, I saw red and cried when I found Rob eating the last of my Trader Joe's Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels. (LOVE YOU BABE!) But sometimes I still feel like this is all too good to be true. I'm trying not to let the "what-ifs" creep into my mind and go down that rabbit hole. Honestly, I can't even type it out because I have suppressed it so much that it's still hard to vocalize.

The biggest mistake I've made is not praying about it. I have these emotions, this anxiety about things that could go wrong, that I just keep pushing them down instead of praying. It's just that hard for me handle and I don't want to "put it out there." BUT yesterday at church, I casually mentioned to a friend that I should have gone to the prayer room, and it just so happened that my mother-in-law and another fabulous woman, both amazing and serious prayer warriors, were close by. So they prayed for me, for my worries, for my anxiety, and for this baby girl. What a release. All the right people, in the right place. God knew what I needed. And this morning, I opened my Jesus Calling devotional, which I'm sad to say, I don't do as often as I would like. And this is what today's devotion was...

Oh. Ok. I mean... God is so faithful. And this may seem like a coincidence or something so small, but to me it just reinforces what I already know. God has never failed me, and He has always met me where I am - in sad times, in the trials, in the happy times, every single day. Even though I couldn't even pray about my fears, He knew my heart. And yesterday and today have been this slow release of more emotions, what I've kept pushed way way down. 

Yesterday was Palm Sunday and Christian took his job of waving his palm very seriously. They were all so darn cute! He gave me a high five when he walked down the aisle back to his classroom. So funny!

But truly, life is good. Christian is using his imagination in ways that amaze me. Right now he's in his bed, slowly waking up, and playing a "game." Something he's imagining as he goes. It's been awesome to watch that, and I don't want to do anything that will squelch that creativity. He's so so so sweet with me, and kisses my belly daily. He says, "I kissed you AND baby sister!" I asked if he was ready to share with baby sister - mostly meaning Rob and I, and he looked at us in horror and said, "MY TOYS?!?!?!" No child, your parents. He was totally fine with that. 

Yesterday he fun getting into this month's Koala Crate! All about BUGS! 

We're off to visit some friends that are about to move to Maui (sniff sniff), and hopefully grab a coffee with one of my favorite girls and her dog. (Hint: Brandi and Lucy :)) It'll be a fun day in town! 

Have a great Monday! And if it's a typical Monday, seriously, pretend you're sitting on the beach in Hawaii. 

Aloha!

35 weeks + visitors + cravings

I feel like we're at the beginning of a new chapter of this pregnancy. All of our guests have left, and this hale is closed for business. This is a chapter where I can get into my nesting groove, we can pull Christian's baby clothes down from the attic, wash all the baby clothes and cloth diapers, pack my hospital bag, pack Christian's suitcase for his overnight stay with Mimi and Papa, and I can really focus on not complaining my way through the next however many weeks.

If you can remember way far back in February, Rob's sister and the girls were in town! It was a busy week, filled with beach days and laughter and fun. Actually, SO much fun because I had to put in at least one call to my doctor about weird pains. (Turns out, the baby CAN push down on the cerclage, and it is very painful - trust me, but is also normal as long as no other "labor" or TMI symptoms are present.) Either way, Mimi and Papa so graciously added one more munchkin to the mix and let Christian sleep over for not one, but TWO nights in a row so I could rest at home while Rob was at work.

After the girls left, my mom flew in the very next day with her friend Rachel. Rachel stayed for about 10 days, and my mom a total of 3 weeks! I tried to take it easy, but it was still a pretty busy 3 weeks. And that's mostly because I have a really hard time sitting still or staying cooped up in the house. Mom and Rachel rented a car so they could do the tourist thing and get around island as they wanted. It was nice having my mom here, and Christian was certainly spoiled. At one point they went into Toys R Us, and let's just say, Christian thought it was Christmas. Mom was great with helping out and playing games with him while I mostly just laid in the bed in the afternoons. She gave him a bath every single night, which any parent knows is HUGE. And now going through my pictures, I always regret not taking enough photos of my mom and Christian together. Sigh. 

The day my mom left, one of Rob's college roommates (whom I originally met in Costa Rica years ago at another one of their roommate's wedding) stayed with us for 2 nights with his beautiful family! I had originally met his wife on one of their other trips out here a year or two ago. They have a sweet almost 2 year old AND the most precious, squishy 3 WEEK old. We BBQ'd, and did a little tailgating at the beach. I totally eyed the girl sitting next to us with jealousy chilling in her beach chair with wine BOTTLE in the cup holder. Doing it right.

So yeah, it has been a busy, busy month or so, and I am ready to just kick it until Baby Sister arrives. The guest room is slowly transforming into a semi-nursery, because like with Christian, this baby will also sleep next to me in a co-sleeper bassinet for the first few months or so. And like I mentioned before, I'll most likely move into the guest room for the first month or so. Since our most recent guests had a baby that needed a changing table, we busted that back out, along with our Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper, so we're pretty much set. I plan on buying another cube storage to stick in there, and hanging up a few pictures with Jen's help (who else?) on Wednesday! Which means there's a trip to Target in my future. Duh. 

As for my most recent doctor's appointment, all is good. I have actually started to dilate (even with a cerclage in place) but I of all people know that it really means nothing. With Christian I was 3cm dilated by my 36 week appointment, and continued to dilate for the next month until I had him at almost 40 weeks. I get my cerclage taken out on April 1st, at 36 weeks + 3 days. Actually she said she would try to take my cerclage out. Say whaaa? "What do you mean, try?" I asked. She said it would depend on my pain threshold and if the cerclage had migrated at all.

And recommended taking some extra-strength Tylenol before the appointment. Hmmm... how about a shot of whiskey and a few Xanax? Oh? Not recommended while pregnant? I see.

Anyway, the doctor recommend Rob "stay local" for the month of April (due date is April 26th), which obviously makes complete sense. HOWEVER, I don't want him to burn up all his time off/family leave just to hear me complain about how uncomfortable I am. It is a tough situation trying to "plan" for baby's arrival with a husband's flying schedule. I remember stressing about this with Christian, especially when my doctor dropped the bomb that I was so dilated with a month left to go and Rob had a few more trips on his schedule. So, our compromise and idea of "staying local" are 2-day west coast trips as opposed to 3-day international trips, and he (basically) has the first week of April off. But not to worry! I have my backup birth partner all ready just in case Rob can't make it home. I'm hoping + praying + trusting that he will be here.

Current craving: Greek yogurt + bananas and strawberries + some kind of chia coconut granola + local honey. Can't stop. This is definitely the "healthiest" thing I've craved, so I'm going to run with it because "oh hey 40lbs" and I know I ain't carrying a 40 pound baby.

Have a wonderful week! 

things i might do differently

I was really torn between writing this and watching "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt," but alas, I've been wanting to share some thoughts on what I might do differently this time around with baby number dos. And really, I emphasize might because these are things I hope to do differently, or things I think I'll do differently, but if I have learned one thing in my very short time and very limited experience as a parent, things don't usually go quite as planned. Or expected. BUT these are a few things on my list...

1. Get an epidural. Stat. (And no birth plan.) 

This time, I want an epidural, no question. With Christian, I was adamant about not having an epidural. Rob and I took a Lamaze class, I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (which is AMAZING, by the way, so I do recommend that book to all pregnant women), I researched a lot, and I'm pretty sure I blogged about it. I felt really prepared to deliver with no drugs. I had a birth plan two pages long, which I am glad I had, because many of my wishes were honored, and I liked feeling prepared. I didn't need continual fetal monitoring (because I wasn't restricted to the bed), I didn't need an IV right away (but I had a port ready to go), I was allowed to walk around and do my thing (which was sitting on an exercise ball and throwing-up with every contraction, yay). I used zero Lamaze techniques. Rob used the husband part of it though! He was awesome! However, when you deliver in a hospital, things are basically going to go the way the doctor wants it to.

When my water broke that morning, I waited about 2 hours or so to head to the hospital. By the time I got to triage, I had dilated to 8cm, without even really knowing. But dang, those last two centimeters. And YES, I still could have had an epidural if I wanted. I asked "in theory," and they said yes. But by not having an epidural, I also got to experience what an episiotomy felt like with no pain meds, and then being stitched up afterward. I also had the pleasure of having my placenta hand delivered (you can draw your own conclusions about what all that entailed) because the umbilical cord detached from the inside, leaving the placenta with no easy way out. I know, I know, I'm not the first to have experienced all that, but this time around, just give me the epidural. And if I did have a birth plan, it would read: have a baby.

2. Binkies! 

With Christian, I held off on giving him a pacifier because I read that it could interfere with breastfeeding, and breastfeeding was/is very important to me. This time around, Baby Sister gets one right away. If for some reason it seems to be interfering with breastfeeding, then we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Nursing Christian was no walk in the park, but all the nurses (except one) were super helpful, and the hospital sent the Lactation Consultant to my room a few times. I visited an LC twice after I left the hospital, and she was SO helpful in making it work. With Christian in the beginning, I ended up pumping and syringe feeding him. That was really frustrating for me, but we got past it with some serious work, and he ended up being a champion nurser. But yeah, give the child a binky. Oh, and also...

3. NO BOPPY!

I hate the Boppy pillow (for breastfeeding). It gave me so much back pain in the hospital trying to use it, which in turn made me think that I was the one doing something wrong. FOR ME, it sits way too low, lower than the baby needs to be to nurse, so I was totally hunched over. At the recommendation of my Lactation Consultant, I bought a My Brest Friend and it was seriously a life changer. It actually hooks around your back and sits up high without moving. My back immediately felt better and nursing became so much easier. I like the Boppy for other things, like lounging the baby on, but for nursing, it was really uncomfortable.

4. Pump more.

I didn't pump very much with Christian. My lovely friend Rachelle told me that she would pump so her husband could do at least one night feeding. That sounds amazing. I definitely want to try it and see how it goes. When I tried to pump later (after C was about 2-3 months old), it was harder because at that point my body was making enough milk for Christian and not much else. Like breastfeeding in the beginning, I had to really work at the pumping. I would also like to pump enough to actually freeze some. That would be fantastic.

5. Cloth diaper sooner.

I started to cloth diaper Christian when he was about 8 months old. We did it consistently for about 6 months, and then took a break because of some cloth diaper issues. We eventually started back up and did it off and on for a while longer. This time around I want to start a bit sooner, probably within the first 2 months. I love to cloth diaper, mostly because they're so darn cute!! But really, the cost savings is a huge plus too! And it is honestly so much easier than you think it is. As with many things, there are just SO MANY OPTIONS, which actually makes it seem intimidating. It's mostly just trial and error and going with what works best for you and baby. We'll definitely be able to reuse what we used for Christian, but I am collecting a few newborn sizes to add to my stash. These two cloth diapers were gifts, and aren't they THE CUTEST?! (Thanks Brandi & Amanda!)

A cloth diaper with airplanes, you know I couldn't resist that. And awww, little Christian and those thighs! 

6. Babywear without actually cooking my newborn.

I wore Christian A LOT, probably more than he ever went into a stroller. I just loved the closeness, and it was definitely a comfort for him. Rob was also a fan of babywearing! (Nothing hotter than seeing a dad wearing his little baby!) The big problem here is that it's so hot in the summer! My favorite carrier, hands down, is the Ergo. I had the Performance Ergo at first, but ended up selling it on Craigslist and buying the Organic Cotton Ergo. That was so much better for me! (See, it's all just trial and error, and what works best for you!) However, when they're smaller they need to go into the infant insert, and that's basically going to cook your baby. I also used the Moby wrap. I loved the wrap, but the material was also too thick, and therefore very very hot. SO. After much research, this time around I ordered the Solly Baby Wrap, which is very much like the Moby, but the material is lighter weight and more breathable, but equally as secure. I also would looooooove to get my hands on a Sakura Bloom ring sling, but I'm trying to refrain myself because I know realistically the length of time they can be worn that way, is short. AND I also know that I'll probably switch to the Ergo as soon as I can. Oh, we also have a Babyhawk that was hit or miss with Christian, but I liked it for quick errands.  

Babywearing in Japan

7. Move to the guest bedroom right away.

With Christian, no one really had to be well rested because we didn't have another child to take care of! So we were both zombies for the first few months. But when Rob went back to work, I moved the bassinet (we use the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper) into the living room. I slept on the couch, and Rob slept in the bedroom. No one wants a sleep deprived pilot flying their airplane, amiright? But this time around, I think I'm going to just go ahead and move to the guest bedroom right away. That way Rob can be (semi) well-rested (because let's be honest), and have lots of energy (LOL) for entertaining Big Brother, Christian. Except for that one bottle a night he gets to feed her. ;) 

8. Have a backup Miracle Blanket!!

Check! What's the Miracle Blanket, you ask? Well, it's only the greatest thing ever. Thanks to Rob's sister, Christian was a much better sleeper! The Miracle Blanket is a swaddling blanket that saved our lives. It's kind of like a little straight jacket for a baby. Christian LOVED to be swaddled, but soon they can bust out fairly easily, sort of defeating the purpose. But the Miracle Blanket keeps them nice and snug. The only problem with having only one is when they barf all over it... then you cry. So, thank you to my wonderful friend Jayme, we already have our backup ready to go! 

9. Utilize the Infant Room at church.  

Our church has this awesome "Infant Room." I went in there ONCE with Christian. Whenever he had to nurse, I would just go to the bathroom. TO BE FAIR, the bathrooms are nice and quiet, with couches, etc. So no, I wasn't nursing in a stall. But I had just never really checked out the Infant Room... but when I did, my mind was blown. There are rockers and gliders, and floor to ceiling glass windows so you can see the Ko'olaus, with the sermon being piped in. And other tired parents of infants. 

And to round it out nice and even like... 

10. Forget everything I just wrote, GO WITH THE FLOW, accept help, and pray! 

Hah. I'm so Type-A, but I am really going to try my best. 

And now, little baby Christian. ALL THE FEELINGS. 

Happy Aloha Friday! 

thursday thoughts

Shall we start with a  "throwback Thursday" picture? Let's.

I'm not even going to lie. This picture just made me cry. It is one of my favorite photos snapped by Rob while we waited at the doctor's office for a quick checkup. I've been feeling very emotional today with no less than 2 cries under my belt (hah) by 10 this morning. I just can't believe that Christian is so close to not being an only child. I mean, I guess technically he's already not an only child, but you know what I mean. 

Christian is definitely a boy full of energy, and keeps me on my toes ALL day long. But he is the most tender and sweet little boy I know, constantly in tune with others emotions. Today when I cried in the truck over shoe drama (ok, probably hormones had something to do with it, let's be real), he stopped and said, "I'm sorry Mama! I don't want to hurt your feelings. When we get to bible study, I'm going to give you a big hug!" Is that supposed to make me stop crying? So. Emotional. He seems to be excited about baby sister's arrival. I realize right now all of this is very abstract for him, but he sings to my tummy, talks about being a big brother, and still regularly calls her "humuhumunukunukuapua'a." 

Sigh. I love that boy so much. 

I'm currently sitting at Whole Foods looking across the street at the Salvation Army, and I see a surfboard in the window. I'm so tempted to go check it out. I'm also listening to this song on repeat. 

Mom and Rachel have been staying busy doing all the normal "touristy" things around the island, and it seems like they're having lots of fun. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and if you saw my Facebook post, it was all good things. Praise God! I had been feeling some sharp pains off and on a few days ago and talked to my doctor over the phone some. She wasn't too concerned since there were no signs of labor + other things I won't go into. But yesterday she did say to me that the baby can kick the cervix/cerclage and it's ok as long as no bleeding and stuff. OUCH. Which I'm assuming is what I was feeling. TMI? Sorry. And I can also dilate 1-2cm with it in, and that's ok too. Eek. TMI again? Sorry. I'm measuring slightly ahead, and was informed that my baby girl would not be a tiny thing. I guess time will tell...! But I'm happy to say that I'm finally starting to let myself get excited about it all. 

Now, here's a random photo I snapped on Sunday that I feel embodies Hawaii on so many levels. Both the guy and the girl had great hair. And that dog. 

Have a wonderful day! Aloha! 

a little sprinkle

Yesterday, I was so honored to be sprinkled with love by some of my closest friends and family. Have you heard of a baby sprinkle? It's basically like a less elaborate baby shower, but for the 2nd/3rd/etc. baby. 

My best friend from Virginia, Brandi, that now lives here with the help of my very dear friends Jen (married to a friend I grew up with in Virginia that now also lives here - we met and immediately hit it off) and Jayme (my very first friend in Hawaii, and mom to Christian's belly buddy, Joey), coordinated the most lovely "sprinkle" a girl could ask for. Everything about yesterday was perfect. 

Brandi made arrangements for brunch at Monkeypod Kitchen, a restaurant I've been wanting to try. She picked up cupcakes from Cake Couture, my absolute favorite cupcakery ever. It was a very intimate affair with only eight of us, and it was absolutely perfect! My mom was able to be part of the celebration, which meant the world to me. Her friend Rachel came too, which means there was a lot of Virginia at that table (6 of us total!). West Virginia and Tennessee/Georgia also showed up, and therefore the East Coast presence was strong! 

Jen created the most beautiful floral centerpieces and decorations, while Jayme arranged flowers from her garden in little individual vases we were able to take home. 

We played two fun games involving rings and not saying the word, "baby," and the size of my belly as measured by yarn. Not surprisingly, I guessed myself to be the size of a house, because let's be honest, that's how I feel. Jen bought the most delicious smelling candles from Guava Shop in Haleiwa as prizes. Game on. 

Brandi was the clear winner of the rings, and Jayme most accurately measured the size of my belly. #friendsforever

The food was delicious, the service was great, and there was live music. A perfect setting. We were more than sprinkled with love. And girl clothes are SO MUCH FUN. 

Almost there!! Can't wait to rock this tank top from Jayme!

The lot of us!

32 weeks/8 months pregnant!

These girls! 

My beautiful mom! I'm so happy that she is here in Hawaii and was able to be a part of this special day! I miss her so much, so I need to make it my mission for her to move here. 

My mom's other daughter, my best friend since our Varina days, and coordinator of this special event, Brandi. We've been friends and have known each other for so long, that we're basically an extension of each other. She gets me in every way. 

My other mom! I am so blessed to have such close family on the island. Rob's parents are an integral part of my survival.

I love this girl. Fellow Virginian, my personal interior decorator, and constantly keeps me laughing. We text on the daily, and always sends me the best finds on Craigslist. My Target soul sister. Also, master of games, prizes, and decorations. 

My beautiful friend, Emily, another Virginia girl living on the island. She's a Marine Biologist, and that is basically the coolest thing ever. I could listen to her talk about sea horses and marine life all day long.

My first friend in Hawaii, pilot's wife (she gets it), and mom to two precious kiddos, one being Christian's best friend, Joey. I know that we were divinely placed in each other's lives. She's a horticulturalist, and she is the girl you want to go on a hike with. She can tell you about every single plant and flower. 

Afterward, we all did a little shopping. Naturally. When I got home, I immediately took a nap. I really couldn't have imagined a better day, and I feel immeasurably blessed and loved, and way more than "sprinkled" with love. Definitely showered. Or drowned. But definitely very, very loved!