happy good aloha friday!

Happy Good Aloha Friday!!

Status: Pregnant.

Any fun plans for the weekend? You know what my plan is? TO NOT HAVE A BABY.  I mean it. Rob just needs to make it through the next 2 days of recurrent. So he put me on bed rest. ALTHOUGH, when you have a 3-year old, and a husband that's gone for the afternoon... someone's gotta go to Costco.

Did anyone get stuck in #zipnado this week? I almost did. I actually got on the H-1 to go to Mighty Moms and as soon as I got on the freeway, it was a parking lot. So I said, "nope nope nope." And got off at the next exit about one mile away (which took me 20 minutes). And went to Target. I didn't know at the time that it was the beginning of something that was about to make a lot people's lives miserable.

I came across this random Instagram photo, and the headline literally made me LOL so much. Because Hawaii. 

This Sunday is Easter and we will be celebrating the resurrection of our Savior! We'll attend a only slightly-earlier-than-normal service at church, and have a little "brunch"/lunch of ham and lamb with a few friends and family, and of course an Easter egg hunt for the kids! Mimi is going to bake Resurrection Rolls with the little ones, which sounds like such a good to "explain" the Easter story on their level.

Tomorrow we're also planning on taking Christian to an Easter Egg hunt at a huge (outdoor) shopping center close by. And of course, the Easter bunny will make an appearance Sunday morning as well with a basket full of goodies. I totally remember growing up sitting in church next to my cousins on Easter Sunday eating all my candy throughout the service.

Christian spent the night with Mimi and Papa on Wednesday and I keep hearing about all the fun things they did! Christian and Mimi dyed and decorated Easter eggs, and then later on Christian and Papa went on a bear hunt on a trail close by, had dinner at Zippy's, and ice-cream for dessert. It's amazing he ever wants to come home.

As most of you know, also on Wednesday I got my cerclage removed, and it truly wasn't as bad (painful) as I had anticipated it to be. She did mention something about scar tissue and implied that it may hinder the dilation process. That's all I'll say about that. I celebrated with Taco Bell and looks of judgement from my husband. Totally joking, but not about the Taco Bell. I got my bean burrito with no onions and extra cheese. It took me right on back to my childhood days of lunch after church every Sunday. Until we became regular Sunday afternoon patrons of Andy's Barbeque and Ribs that is. Sandston/Varina people, you know what's up. 

I did have a serious talk with my doctor about WHEN I will have this baby, and she looked into her crystal ball... just kidding. I honestly believe that waiting/anticipating labor and having a baby is one of the hardest things for someone with a Type A personality to go through. I NEED TO PLAN. I NEED TO KNOW IF ROB WILL BE HOME. I NEED TO KNOW IF I WILL HAVE MY BABY ON THE H-1. This is a good lesson for me in trusting God. Because I KNOW it will all be fine. My doctor gave me a 20-30% chance of making it to my due date. My friend Jayme predicts I'll go PAST my due date!

Either way, if you need me, I'll be over here washing baby clothes, sipping my Red Raspberry Leaf tea, eating dates, and feeling like a house. 

Have a wonderful weekend!! Happy Easter!

36 weeks + happy monday!

Happy Monday! Pretend you are here...

Also, 36 weeks = 9 months pregnant! Hip hip hooray! One of the 15 pregnancy apps I have on my phone tells me that my baby is the size of a "ripe papaya" (mmmmm papaya...), which actually seems weird, because I hope my baby is bigger than a papaya. But not to worry, I cross-checked with another app and that one says baby girl is the size of a honeydew melon. That's more like it. I'm very serious when it comes to the fruit size of my baby.

Christian very sweetly suggested this past week that maybe I should have TWO babies. Well, I explained, God only gave us one baby, so less people you'll have to share your toys with. Also, I can officially say that we are DONE DUNZO FINITO after this precious sweet girl makes her appearance. I have reached my max at six pregnancies.

This week is also a big week because I get my cerclage taken out on Wednesday. The two stitches that were put in at 16 weeks have done their job and kept my baby inside of me longer than I think anyone expected. I'm nervous about that whole doctor's appointment. I mean, it required a spinal with a "twilight" sleep to get them in, but only requires extra strength Tylenol and a quick visit to the doctor to get them out. Cool. Rob and my packed hospital bag will be with me, but I am not banking on an April 1st delivery.

I have also decided, at the recommendation of two friends (hi Liisa, hi Bevin!) to do placenta encapsulation. I did research on it and more research on it and a little bit more research, and decided "yes," I want to give it a try. A huge thanks to Bevin who got the name of a woman who is going to do it for us. Yes, the idea totally weirded me out at first. Truth be told, it still kind of does. But I'm resting easy in the fact that, I don't have to handle my actual placenta, and that I'll be taking it as a pill. "Happy pills," as I've heard them called. Here's a little more info on it, if you're curious. Don't worry, no pictures!! But the benefits of increased milk production, more energy, faster postpartum recovery, and many more, I cannot ignore. Even though this is a relatively "new" thing here, it's been practiced for centuries in other cultures.

On a more serious note, I have had a bit of anxiety revolving around this stage of my pregnancy. I know a lot has to do with BEING 9 months pregnant, and I am generally overly emotional. Because yes, I saw red and cried when I found Rob eating the last of my Trader Joe's Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels. (LOVE YOU BABE!) But sometimes I still feel like this is all too good to be true. I'm trying not to let the "what-ifs" creep into my mind and go down that rabbit hole. Honestly, I can't even type it out because I have suppressed it so much that it's still hard to vocalize.

The biggest mistake I've made is not praying about it. I have these emotions, this anxiety about things that could go wrong, that I just keep pushing them down instead of praying. It's just that hard for me handle and I don't want to "put it out there." BUT yesterday at church, I casually mentioned to a friend that I should have gone to the prayer room, and it just so happened that my mother-in-law and another fabulous woman, both amazing and serious prayer warriors, were close by. So they prayed for me, for my worries, for my anxiety, and for this baby girl. What a release. All the right people, in the right place. God knew what I needed. And this morning, I opened my Jesus Calling devotional, which I'm sad to say, I don't do as often as I would like. And this is what today's devotion was...

Oh. Ok. I mean... God is so faithful. And this may seem like a coincidence or something so small, but to me it just reinforces what I already know. God has never failed me, and He has always met me where I am - in sad times, in the trials, in the happy times, every single day. Even though I couldn't even pray about my fears, He knew my heart. And yesterday and today have been this slow release of more emotions, what I've kept pushed way way down. 

Yesterday was Palm Sunday and Christian took his job of waving his palm very seriously. They were all so darn cute! He gave me a high five when he walked down the aisle back to his classroom. So funny!

But truly, life is good. Christian is using his imagination in ways that amaze me. Right now he's in his bed, slowly waking up, and playing a "game." Something he's imagining as he goes. It's been awesome to watch that, and I don't want to do anything that will squelch that creativity. He's so so so sweet with me, and kisses my belly daily. He says, "I kissed you AND baby sister!" I asked if he was ready to share with baby sister - mostly meaning Rob and I, and he looked at us in horror and said, "MY TOYS?!?!?!" No child, your parents. He was totally fine with that. 

Yesterday he fun getting into this month's Koala Crate! All about BUGS! 

We're off to visit some friends that are about to move to Maui (sniff sniff), and hopefully grab a coffee with one of my favorite girls and her dog. (Hint: Brandi and Lucy :)) It'll be a fun day in town! 

Have a great Monday! And if it's a typical Monday, seriously, pretend you're sitting on the beach in Hawaii. 

Aloha!

life lately aka thursday mind dump

Good morning! Happy Thursday!

Currently, it's 9:21am and I just rolled out of bed about 8 minutes ago. Glory, sweet glory. I am also sitting outside on the lanai, drinking my OJ out of a fancy stemless wine glass (easier to pretend it's a mimosa) before I head back in for my decaf cup of coffee, and listening to Jack's newest album. It's currently a cool 70-something degrees. (Haters gonna hate, I'm sure of it.) With this guy at my feet.

Did you think I was going to post a picture of Christian? No, because if Christian were here there is no way on God's green earth I would have been allowed to stay in bed until almost noon. When I said "goodnight" to Christian last night, this is what was happening.

Story time with Papa! And apparently they were reading a book that had to do with, "NO ELEPHANTS!" because as I walked out of their house, I heard that phrase shouted at least three times. I would wager a bet that they'd read that story before. 

Lately, Wednesday nights Christian has been sleeping over at Mimi and Papa's house so he can go to BSF with Mimi on Thursday morning. I'm pretty sure it's the highlight of his week, because he gets to race cars on his special racetrack at their house, and Papa let's him eat a TimTam with whipped cream on top. Maybe two. Before heading to their house, he/we had fun with Mimi at the beach park. He rode his bike, and then hunted for sticks on the beach to "build a fort," and collected some sort of balls that had fallen from some trees to throw in the water. 

Now, you may have a few questions. (Probably not.) So let me go ahead and answer them. Yes, Baxter is allowed back outside. But I'm still mad at him. We bought him a fancy new name tag with his name/my phone number/address on it, with a pretty blue collar. Within a week, it was gone - collar and tag. Lost on one of his adventures. I'm sorry, but it cost $11 to make that tag, so I sent Rob and Christian out to see if it was around the yard somewhere. So, then we used a "backup" collar and tag we had when we very briefly let him outside at our previous residence. It was kind of gross and faded, but it worked, and it had his old tag with name and my phone number. Son of a gun, I let him in last night and he was SANS COLLAR AND TAG AGAIN. Rob instructed me not to waste anymore money on another one. 

To answer another question (you didn't have), I have officially switched to decaf coffee. And that's really only when Rob isn't home and I get the coffee pot alllllll to myself. Otherwise, water it is. I've always been sensitive to having heart palpitations, and at the beginning of the pregnancy, I laid off the coffee because of them. I don't drink much coffee to begin with - maybe a half a cup, or one cup if I'm feeling extra sleepy. Ha. Ha. Ha. What is this sleep you speak of? But I just LOVE my morning cup of coffee. Maybe more ritual than anything. The American Pregnancy Association hints at a link between caffeine and preterm labor/delivery. It's a very small hint, and obviously they don't know how it affects humans (only lab animals), BUT I decided for me, it was the right decision to stop drinking it as I do not want any help in the preterm labor or delivery aspect of my pregnancy. Like, not even a little bit. 

You might have seen on Facebook some of the crafts we've been doing around these parts lately. Let me be the first to say, I am not crafty, nor am I creative. Putting together crafts generally stresses me out on some level, but Pinterest is basically my best friend. The reason why we've started doing these crafts is because I'm embarking on homeschooling a preschooler. Homeschooling a preschooler is very simple. You basically play with them, and read to them, and take them outside. So, basically what I was doing anyway, just with a teeny tiny bit more structure for about 30 minutes of our day. Ha. 

I'm part of a pilot program for a preschool "curriculum" for My Father's World. I'm not allowed to say much about it right now, and we've just begun with this particular program, but it's been fun! We don't do it every single day, but we do get outside to a park and play everyday, and read everyday, and take one or two trips to the library during the month. Christian also loves the Brain Quest question and answer cards. We actually do the 4-5 year old level, and he gets about 90% of them right. And that's not to brag, because obviously every parent thinks their child is a genius, but I had heard that the 3-4 year old level was a bit easy. Ok, that's enough. So, just in case you were wondering, that's why we're doing crafts. Oh, to clarify, I found these crafts around the interwebs (not sent as part of the curriculum). Will link to them below, if interested.

Tissue Paper Stained Glass

Valentine Conversation Heart Graphing - you do have to "join" this website to get the printout, but it's free. 

I'm pretty sure everyone and their cat knows how to make a Paper Chain. I use a cheap paper slicer to make my life easier. 

The paper chain is to countdown the days (sleeps) until the cousins are here, and then until Nannie gets here. We've made a few of these before, and he always loves it. 

This weekend will be more soccer (picture day!) and more frozen yogurt or pancakes. I can get onboard with either. Or both. Church on Sunday, and I will officially be 29 weeks pregnant (for those that don't do the week thing, I'm 7 months along). I am going to pray for a cat that stops licking himself in the middle of the night waking me up and making me rage, and better sleep. Because. 

  

Oh, can I just brag on my husband for a bit? He finished Christian's/guest bathroom. Goodbye 90s striped wallpaper!! I absolutely love it, and he did a fantastic job fixing the walls after ripping off all the wallpaper, and painting! The walls were an absolute mess, and he worked really hard for several days fixing them so he could paint. Now, we just need to hang up some pictures and decorate! And dewrinkle the shower curtain. Another day that's not today. 

I think that'll do it for my Thursday mind dump! Have a wonderful day! 

leilani hope

Her name is Leilani Hope. (lay-LAH-nee)

Heavenly lei.

Royal child of heaven. 

Heavenly flower. 

Flowers from heaven. 

One of our favorite descriptions we came across said this, "A lei is the familiar Hawaiian necklace of flowers, shells or feathers. It symbolizes regard and love for the person to whom it is given."

And Hope. We have hope for what the future brings, but trust in the plan that God has for our family. 

When we lost David Clark, I leaned on Jeremiah 29:11.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Despite the heartbreak, and the sadness, we do have hope for our future. And I know that our God is faithful, because we have Christian Reid Makana. Our gift. He was our hope, and he is our future. 

Leilani Hope. She is our heavenly flower. 

a birth story - part 2

a birth story - part 1

We had previously decided that I would labor at home as long as possible before going to hospital. And since I didn't know how long this day was going to end up being, I wanted to eat breakfast! We did our normal routine, and I finished getting everything ready we needed for the hospital and called our parents. At around 10am, we headed down the street. (Luckily our hospital is only a mile away). And then I waited in the waiting room...and waited... tick tock. It was so nonchalant. Rob drops me off at the door, I go to the elevator, girl standing their with a stroller looks at me and says, "oh so close!" (or something like that), to which I reply, "Yep. Today. Going upstairs now." Nothing to see here. I get upstairs and then wait in the waiting room. I make sure to tell the nurse that my water did break and I am already 4cm dilated...so I probably shouldn't wait TOO long. Then the contractions start. Nothing too painful, but they start.

 {"I'm going to be a dad!" I love this picture of Rob taken at the hospital.}

We finally go to triage. A tiny little room where they hook me up to hear the baby's heart rate, and to see my contractions on paper. When they check me, I'm 8cm dilated. Whoa, what? I asked if I'd be having this baby in triage. She said, no. They would take me to an OR. Uh... I was just joking, but they were waiting for a delivery room to open up!

 

{In triage. Still smiling. Yes, my fan says, "Pregnant Woman Are Hot!"}

When I did eventually get my own room, we setup the music and I immediately sit on the "birthing ball." On a normal day it's just one of those big exercise balls. So here I was, 8cm dilated and the contractions were manageable, not pain-free, but manageable. But not for long. They started coming hard and they started coming fast, and I was still determined to go all natural. But, I'm not going to lie, the doubt is there that this all-natural stuff ain't gonna happen. The only relief I could find was sitting on that ball. My focal point? A spot on the floor, and I couldn't do any other Lamaze breathing other than "slow chest breathing." (In theory, it's the 1st Lamaze breathing technique you would use). Although not as dramatic as it's portrayed on TV, I thought if I did the "he-he" breathing, I would hyperventilate.

The nurse comes in and checks me. 9cm dilated. "Can I get I still get an epidural?????" She said yes, but Rob totally coached me through my doubt. I only had ONE centimeter to go. I could totally do this. Um...I can? I was also throwing up with each contraction. And I know that sounds horrible, but in all honesty, it took my mind off the pain. I was getting to the point of, "I am going to push this baby out RIGHT NOW because I can't manage it anymore." But, I kept going. And oddly enough, the nurses and doctors (residents) were impressed at how "calm" I was being and that I was doing this au naturale. They originally doubted me, but now they thought I was a rockstar. In a weird way, that also motivated me to keep going.

When I had finally reached 9.5 centimeters, the nurse had some not so good news. My cervix hadn't completely thinned out on one side. So, until that happened, even if I were to reach 10 centimeters, I couldn't push. I thought I would die. She had me lay on my side to help it along (somehow), but those were the worst contractions. I laid there for an eternity.

Finally, it's time to push. They kept asking me if I had the urge to push, and I never really remember feeling that I did. But since thundercats were go, I was getting this baby out of me. And then I pushed for 2 hours. Two HOURS. Man alive. I couldn't tell anymore if I was even having a contraction... I had to ask the nurse, "is this a contraction?" I'm serious.

Eventually the doctor said he HAD to come out, his heart tones were dropping. By that point, I didn't care if they cut my abdomen open right then and there. I was exhausted and was starting to feel like I had nothing left to give. I was crying, I was on oxygen between contractions, I was frustrated, I wanted this baby in my arms two hours ago. This is EXACTLY why birthing a baby on your back is THE WORST POSSIBLE way to do it - you're completely going against gravity. Hoping to give myself one more ounce of motivation to push him out, they brought in a mirror (at my request) so I could see his head. But it was too...distracting. I told them to take it away. I could even feel his head, but it just wasn't happening. It's kind of surreal. Doctors, nurses, my husband - they were all cheering for me. It was kind of awesome in a way. I was a rockstar.

Finally, the doc said it, "Amber, I have to cut." Episiotomies are not "routine" anymore, and I had hoped that I wouldn't have to have one, but the baby had to come out. Lo and behold, right after that, he did and was put immediately onto my chest. A crying, screaming, absolutely perfect in every single way, baby boy. I can't think of any words to describe that moment. Relief. Love. So in love. A love that has no words, a love that I didn't know existed. Unreal.

{"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." - James 1:17}

Christian Reid Makana Willoughby was born on August 18th, 2011 at 6:34pm. Weighing in at 8lbs .2oz, and 21.5 inches long. Big boy.

Rob cut the cord, as dads do. And I don't know how he did it, but he managed to record video, take pictures, and encourage me for hours, remain completely calm, all while holding a little mini battery operated fan pointed at my face. The entire time. My hero. Having Christian has made me love Rob more than ever before. It's just different. Everything changes.

{First family photo.}

I look exhausted because I was exhausted. I wasn't this tired after running a marathon. No joke. My labor was a total of about eight hours. Not bad considering the average first time labor is fourteen hours. But my doctor told me, women who go drug free don't usually push for two hours. She said that's more typical with an epidural. Lucky me.

In the end, not much happened the way I thought it would. I don't know exactly what I thought would happen, but in my head, this birth story wasn't it. We had a "birth plan" written out that all the nurses and doctors had a copy of - our wishes for the labor and delivery. And in the spirit of being real, (this is my birth story, after all), things WILL happen that you don't plan on. For me, the umbilical cord detached itself from the placenta before it was delivered. The doctor had to, for lack of a better way to say it, reach in, several times, and hand deliver it. Let's just say, I feel bad for anyone taking a hospital tour that day. There was NO amount of pain throughout labor or delivery that even touched what was happening. To say that was traumatic, would be an understatement. Fortunately, for any expecting mamas reading this (Liisa), my doctor said that was NOT common, and no one I know has ever even heard of that happening.

A few things that did go according to plan: we were able to have immediate skin to skin contact (this was really important to me), delay cutting the cord, delay eye "drops" until the absolute last minute (so my baby could see me!!), no continuous IV, and freedom of movement during labor. Getting a healthy baby in our arms, in the safest way possible is the goal, and thank God, that went exactly according to plan.

a birth story - part 1

When I first got pregnant I knew I wanted to have a natural, unmedicated (no epidural) birth. I figured so many women before me had done it, I could too. How hard could it really be??

To prepare, we decided to find a "child birth class," and since Lamaze was a reasonable price and had been around since the beginning of time, we decided to go for it. We went to six weeks of classes. Our teacher was a little on the eccentric side, to say the least. But it was quite entertaining. She's been teaching Lamaze for 30 something years, has had 3 "Lamaze" births, blah blah blah. Since the classes were inexpensive and I had come to understand through my research that if you want to have an unmedicated birth, you had to prepare for it. If you go in with the mindset of, "oh I want to go natural, but I'll just see how it goes...," then in all honesty, it probably won't happen. Sorry.

For six weeks we practiced all kinds of breathing techniques that would be used through each contraction depending on it's intensity. We were told to have a focal point - something to look at through the contraction - a picture of a pretty sunset, a flower, whatever. But not only that, we learned about the process of giving birth. How labor starts, the different phases of labor, different "tools" they bring into the delivery room, all kinds of medication they can give you (besides an epidural), the effects of having an epidural, how to make my birth "sacred," even if I were to have a C-section. I learned that it's actually very uncommon for a woman's water to break before making it to the hospital, like in the movies. All of that stuff was all really informative and very helpful. Rob learned to be my "Guardian of Courage." Yep, that's what she called the coaches. How we didn't laugh the whole way through, I don't know.

In a sense, you could say I was "lucky." At my 36 week appointment, I found out I was already 3cm dilated. I thought that meant I was going to have that baby that day. That's not what that means. The next week I was still 3cm dilated. They use all these things to determine when baby is ready - effacement (how thin the cervix is), dilation (how open the cervix is), and station (where exactly is the baby - up high or "engaged" in the pelvis). Baby stayed up high. Even the day I went to the hospital, he was up high. Not really something I wanted to hear. I just decided to look at this as, well only 7cm to go... and I didn't even have to do anything to get to 3cm. By 39 weeks, I was at 4cm. And at 39 weeks, you are ready to have that child.

On Monday, we all hiked Makapu'u. I was trying to get this show on the road, naturally, of course. On Wednesday, we walked to Chinatown, I sat on a bouncy exercise ball, and I ate lots of pineapple. Thursday morning (at 39 weeks, 2 days) I woke up to fix coffee, and my water broke (so much for "that rarely happens"). It wasn't a big gush, also like you see in the movies, but I knew what was going on. I knew the "real" contractions would soon follow. I told Rob, and he responded with something along the lines of, "For real?" For real. We knew that on this day, we were finally going to meet our little man.

39 weeks

{top of Makapuu}

Not too much to say really. I'm officially in my "last week" of pregnancy, but totally understand it could go on for another 2 weeks past my due date. I honestly canNOT fathom being pregnant for almost another month without feeling like I'll cry, so I'm not even going to think about it. Right now I have a "one day at a time" mentality, and fully accept that I have no reason to complain until after August 23rd. And honestly, I've had an "easy" pregnancy. No complications. Not as miserably uncomfortable as some people say they are. The doctor was impressed that we hiked Makapuu the other day. "The whole thing?" Yep. And I loved the looks of fellow hikers, especially on our way back down. They're thinking, "if she can do it then I know I can." It's really not that hard - about a mile up at a pretty good incline, but it's paved the whole way. In all honestly, I did that hike to get that baby moving in the downward position, and have been walking and sitting on the exercise ball almost everyday to also "help" the process. In reality, no matter what I do, the baby will come when the baby is ready... whenever that may be.

I had one "trial run" to Labor & Delivery that ended with a 7 hour stay in triage and no baby. Eh, oh well. It was good practice... I immediately remembered 3 things I forgot while I was there, and have now made a list of those things - my glasses, vitamins, pillows/blankets for Rob - that is taped to the cabinet.

I am still slowly making progress and am almost 5cm dilated. Which to me, is crazy. I'm not in active labor... or any labor for that matter. It was thought on Thursday, when I went to L&D, that I might have been in early labor... but I really don't know anymore.

So yep, that's it. Nothing really excited to report. Still here. Still pregnant. But VERY excited to meet our baby boy.

38 weeks

{most days}

I've come to realize that a due date actually means... nothing. Whatsoever. I'm 38 weeks today, have been consistently measuring one week ahead for the past few weeks. Now I'm back to "on schedule" but the doctor still thinks baby boy will come early. BUT NOT BEFORE THE 20TH!!

Before a few days ago I had been cruising a long with no signs of labor. And then like a switch, things started to change. The baby is moving almost non-stop. I've had more frequent and intense Braxton Hicks contractions. I had enough last night that I tried to time them (just in case this was the real deal)... but they were so random and inconsistent I gave up. Two people said it looked like I had "dropped" - meaning the baby is more engaged in my pelvis. The pressure is more than before, but not too bad. Bonus! Dropped baby = less heartburn. But to go ahead and cancel out that bonus because my bathroom trips have gone from 100 times during the night to 300 times during the night. 

This is also my last week at work. And then I will soon be entering the stay-at-home-mom chapter of my life, which I couldn't be more thrilled about.

Rob's parents will be arriving this weekend. VERY excited about this! This puts me at a little more ease, especially if having this baby is going to happen at any moment... and Rob happens to be out of the country or on the mainland. With that being said, I have completely faith that it'll all work out.

Yesterday I had a hair appointment and left with fresh highlights and a haircut. Even though I still feel like a blob... now I feel like a fabulous blob. Last night we rounded out the day with dinner with our friends Jayme and Joel, and their two adorable kids. Since Jayme had a boy a few months ago, we decided that her baby boy and our baby boy are going to be best friends. 

What an exciting adventure!! 

the tour

We finally got to take the "maternity" tour at our hospital. Luckily for us, my doctor's office is actually at the hospital, so I'm quite familiar with the layout - I've just never been to the maternity floors. And since our hospital is a speciality "women and children's" hospital, it's very well catered to... having babies! It's also the only hospital in Hawaii with a Level 3 NICU, so I know our baby would be in good hands if, God forbid, he needed to go to the NICU.

When we entered a "labor and delivery" room, I was excited to see it was pretty spacious. I was also pleasantly surprised that the nurse giving the tour was very encouraging about the room being "natural birth friendly." (I've been on the defense thinking that since I'm having the baby at a hospital - as opposed to a birth center or at home - no one would be supportive of our choice to go unmedicated. Luckily, this doesn't seem to be true at all). There's room to have a birthing ball (exercise ball), a shower/jacuzzi where you can sit and a "waterfall" will pour down your back, and other tools available, to help ease labor pain and contractions! I am SO excited about this because I know these things will all be helpful in my goal of having an unmedicated birth. And I don't have to deliver laying on my back - which totally goes against gravity. 

We got to see the nursery and there were a few brand new babies in there. My heart completely melted when I saw these babies and the dads in the nursery snapping photos. They were all so tiny!! And when I looked at Rob, he was grinning from ear to ear. I am in love. I think this made us both more excited than we've ever been to meet our little man. 

The hospital also has a professional photographer come in to take pictures of our brand new baby, free of charge. Of course, if we want prints, we'll have to buy them. But, they give us a link that we can give to friends/family, with all the photos. I love the idea of a professional photos of our baby just hours after entering the world. 

After baby is here, I'll be moved to another floor where we'll be until discharged. Typical discharge is 48 hours after a normal delivery, or 96 hours after a cesarean birth. The nurse also mentioned, it could be shorter or longer depending on many factors. Our doctor said we could leave after 24 hours as long as everything looked good! On the night before leaving, the hospital prepares a "special meal" and our choices are all kinds of fancy.... steak, salmon, something else...lots of sides, desserts. Can't remember, but it didn't sound half bad. Did I forget to mention free wi-fi on both maternity floors? 

I'm glad we ended up taking the tour because that night we weren't feeling motivated to go. It was definitely informational and very encouraging for me. Being the Type-A personality I am, I like to be prepared and know where things are ahead of time, and what to expect. For the record, not knowing when our little man is going to make his presence is a little nerve-wracking, but we know whenever it is, the timing will be perfect...and I'll know exactly where to go! 

36 weeks

{hang loose creepy baby}

Yesterday was my 36 week appointment. Surprisingly, I lost one pound... first time in 8 months! But it was not intentional and the doc said it wasn't a big deal as long as the baby was growing. And yep, he's definitely still growing because I'm measuring one week ahead...again. Heartbeat was great - in the 150s. And another bit of news that came as a surprise is that I am currently 3cm dilated. (Even though there's a few other things that need to come together, you push the baby out when you're at 10cm). The baby is head down... and how does she know? Because she could feel his head. Yep. The doctor felt my baby's head. Although she did add that he's pretty high up, and not engaged. In one more week, he'll be considered full-term... so Baby, you gotta stay right where you are, and preferably for another 4 weeks until I know for sure your Daddy is going to be home! Luckily, the doctor isn't too concerned about an early arrival, and after talking with friends and family, I learned you can stay [however many centimeters dilated] for weeks.

We have one more Lamaze class to attend, and yesterday we went to a Breastfeeding class. It was great! Very informational and even though I've already done a lot of research on breastfeeding and how it's the best thing you can do for your baby, I definitely learned a lot. I do love these classes, because I don't think you can prepare enough, even though I'm completely sure all the preparation in the world will never compare to how it's actually going to be.

One thing that needs to happen right now is me packing my hospital bag. We finally got everything together, it just needs to go into a bag that can be easily grabbed on our way out the door to have baby. I'm trying to keep it simple, as my fellow mom friends recommended. But I still need to make a playlist of music we'll listen to, and a focal point to concentrate on when having contractions during labor.

And although this past week was pretty emotional (I'm 8 months pregnant, what do you expect?!), it has also been a great reminder of how ridiculously awesome my friends are. I am so grateful for my rock - my husband - who has more than "put up with" my more than usual craziness, and for friends, family, and even my neighbor, who (whom?) I've been able to just "let it all out" to. You are awesome.

baby's corner

With possibly less than a month to go (!!!!!), we're still pretty unorganized, as you can see. This is the little corner of our 1-bedroom apartment that will be set-up for baby upon his arrival. In order to fit all of that there, we Rob had to flip the bed around. And even though we can hardly squeeze through between the closet and the end of the bed to go to the bathroom, baby will have a place to sleep right next to mama.

We bought the cube storage and drawers from Target. The drawers contain all the washed baby clothes (only sizes 0-3 months because we have a TON of clothes), swaddling blankets, burp clothes, random toys and other things. So far we've got two different kinds of disposable diapers we're going to try out. Ideally, I'd love to attempt cloth diapering, but I'll have to figure that out later, or not. Both diapers brands I picked are two of the most "natural" kinds out there - Earth's Best and Seventh Generation. We have an assortment of newborn sizes and size 1 (just incase we get a bigger than expected baby), but we've also kept the receipts so we can return any unopened packages we don't use.

I absolutely LOVE our new diaper bag (who am I? Am I really talking about loving diaper bags?). It's a Ju-Ju-Be and very Hawaiian looking... but masculine enough that Rob is willing to carry it. (The men out here generally wear Aloha shirts to work/church/any business casual function/wherever, so to see a man with something "flowery" isn't really a big deal). And it's Hibiscus flowers.

We have the stroller there for now, but I'm sure it'll stay in the back of the truck when actually being used.

Boppy Pillow for nursing the little one.

All of the bath stuff in the corner was a part of the gift my co-workers gave to me. So very awesome! There are a few hooded towels, lotions, a sponge, and even a little bathtub!

The co-sleeper is a little bassinet-type crib that will actually be hooked to the side of the bed; the baby will be easily reachable, but not actually in the bed with us. We can also use it as a free standing bassinet. We'll probably only get a few months use out of it, but I'm hoping we'll be able to use until we move into a bigger space.

Moby wrap for baby-wearing, thank you to my sister-in-law!

A memory book to document all the little fun things our baby will do because I hear they grow pretty fast. There's also a little one-year calendar I bought because it has an airplane on the front. Couldn't resist.

As for the extra fan (there's no central A/C, people!), the cat, and the messy bed, welcome to our home.

how to get a stroller & car seat to hawaii

It is not an easy feat to have items shipped out here, especially big items like a stroller/car seat combo, for example. Honestly, it's almost downright impossible. Let me break it down for you.

After purchasing and then returning an apartment on wheels a stroller and car seat we half liked, we found exactly what we wanted. But like everything else sold in Hawaii, it was so much more expensive to buy here than online. But lo and behold, we found a retailer that would ship to Hawaii... or so we thought. (Side note: from previous experience, whenever we put in our shipping address on Amazon.com, we usually get the message, "Please change address. We do not ship to address entered." Grrrr.) This time was different. No shipping address denial message! It let's us place the order!! We're stoked that 1. we found the stroller/car seat travel system we actually wanted for much cheaper and 2. THEY SHIP TO HAWAII. Two days later, we get an email from Amazon/the retail store and they have canceled our order with no explanation. But we knew why. After going back and forth with these people, we were not getting the travel system from them.

So we start brainstorming... and this is what we come up with: order the travel system from a company recommended by my sister-in-law, have it shipped to Pennsylvania while Rob's parents are there for (at the time) a few more days, have Rob's dad ship it to us via FedEx with his airline discount. (Airline employees get a nice 75% discount on 2-day air shipping). However, to get this accomplished, we had to wake up at 4am to call as they opened at 10am EST, inquired about ordering the one we wanted in a certain color, and BAM, they were out. AGGGHHHHH!!! So, Rob hangs up and we continue to brainstorm. We just decide to go with the other color option, which was actually cheaper. Call back, place the order, get expidited ground shipping to PA for a small fee, and PRAY it makes it there before Rob's parents are scheduled to leave. Woo hoo, it does! Dad shipped it to us the next day and it is now in our possession! I didn't even go to the beach as to not miss the FedEx man. Oh, and yes, it was worth it to go through all of that instead of buying it here because we saved OVER $100 after it was all said and done. So yeah.

{hmmm... how does this thing open?}

 {ah hah!! ... by the way, this makes my heart melt.}

{"Get me the hell out of here." -Baxter}

35 weeks...errr...36 weeks?

{cupcake following a lovely lunch compliments of my co-workers}

Today was the first of my now weekly doctor's appointments, and I was measuring one week ahead. But this late in the game they're not changing my due date. At other various appointments, I've also measured one week behind, right on schedule and a week ahead. The measuring method isn't exactly scientific, as I'm sure I've previously mentioned. I also had the Group B Strep test today, which will determine if I have to have antibiotics while in labor or not. I'm not getting into what it is, etc., but if you really care then follow the link.

As for baby this week, he's 18 inches long and over 5lbs! No wonder it feels like he has NO room left in there. No more somersaults going on now, but lots of movement. It definitely looks like something is trying to escape from belly. Most of baby's organs are fully formed and in the next few weeks he'll continue to "gain mass," per my doctor. As will I, I'm sure.

We also got to ask our doc lots of questions about having a natural labor and delivery... that means without an epidural. I am happy to report that although some of the things we'd like aren't necessarily the norm for giving birth in a hospital...in America, (no back labor, freedom of movement during labor, no continuous IV or continuous fetal monitoring, etc.) she's game. We've done a lot of research on having a natural birth and are doing everything we can to prepare for it. The Lamaze classes have been so helpful and informational in many ways and is providing us with pain management breathing techniques and other helpful tips... like freedom to move around during labor. However, I wasn't too stoked to watched the Lamaze video filmed circa late-1970s, but that did prompt me to go ahead and schedule my bikini wax.

The Perfect Day

Yesterday practically embodied my idea of the perfect day.

I slept in until after 8am, which is completely unheard of these days. Rob and I lounged around and did our morning ritual of drinking coffee (his black, mine with a touch of hazelnut creamer & milk) and eventually eating breakfast. We finally headed over to Ala Moana Beach Park after Rob bought a long sleeve rash guard because I've been nagging him commenting on how much sun he's been getting lately. I get it! It's hard to reapply sunscreen when you're in the water for 5+ hours at a time! But unfortunately, skin cancer is obviously not uncommon here. So with Rob's new rashguard, we're off to the beach! Bonus: we scored an awesome parking spot! I set up my chair - as there is no way I am able to just sit on the sand, as I normally would. We jumped in the water for a few minutes to float around before Rob paddled out. It wasn't crowded and the water was warm and crystal clear.

After Rob paddled away to go surf, I got comfy (as possible) in my chair and picked up my book, "Babywise." When I finished the chapter, I jumped back in the water to float around and cool off. Side note: I'm so buoyant, I couldn't drown if I wanted to AND water is heaven for my pregnant body. But as I walked out to the water, pregnant belly out and all (normally, I don't let it all hang out), I saw a grandma-type staring at me. (Pregnancy also equals LOTS of eyes). My first thought was, "please don't comment on the fact that I'm letting it all hang out today because I really don't want to get rude with a grandma on my perfect day." But she never said anything... I swam out to about the middle of the channel, feet no longer touching the bottom, and I floated. I floated on my back, I treaded water (barely even had to!), and I floated more.

Then I saw the lady's grandson join her on the shoreline - he was probably eleven or twelve. This is the conversation I heard bits of:

Grandma: That lady out there is pregnant.
Boy: PREGNANT!?!? AND SHE'S FLOATING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!?!
Grandma: [inaudible response]
Boy: Can you float on your back grandma??
Grandma: Ooohhh no child.
[cue me floating on my back]
Boy: WOAH!! Look, SHE IS!!
[Mom joins Grandma and boy (her son) on the shore]
Boy: MOM... Why can't I go out THAT far?!?!
Mom: Because she can swim and you can't!!
[The end]

Glad I could be such a fascinating topic of discussion.

After Rob paddled back in, we were trying to come up with a plan of action. Our dilemma: it was just after 3:30pm and we can't park our 2nd car on the street until after 5:30pm (no street parking from 3:30-5:30). What should we do? Happy hour at Yard House, of course!!

So we drove to Waikiki and went to our super secret free parking spot where I proceeded to have a pregnancy meltdown (just like that) of having to sit and eat in a wet swimsuit. Cue us leaving to go home, me changing into dry clothes, and going BACK to the Yard House. Perfect day resumes. For half price happy hour appetizers, we got our normal boneless chicken wings, cheeseburger sliders, and a smallish ham/pineapple pizza.

We finished the evening with Frasier reruns (our favorite), reading in bed, and asleep by 10pm.

It was perfect because we were with each other, and yeah, we probably sound like an old married couple, but I am completely and totally happy with that. I have never been in such a wonderful place (figuratively and literally) in my life because I know I am blessed in so many ways.

The only way I can think of to make yesterday more perfect, is being able to do it all with our son. Cue heart melting.

Pregnancy and a cat harness?

Not in this lifetime...

I happen to stumble across this gal's blog entry from a posting on BabyCenter* and I have to share. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant AND have put tried to put Baxter in a harness, but I get this. Pregnancy and putting Baxter in a harness? Surprisingly, there's a correlation.

I'm sure Rob appreciates the uncontrollable laughing coming from the living room at 6-something this morning. (As a result of my inability to sleep, of course).

*BabyCenter - a sometimes helpful website with pregnancy/kid related information. I usually check out the pregnant lady forums for my daily dose of eye-rolling.

Two Months...Whaaaaat?!

I know I haven't blogged lately but I've been tired, I have heartburn (MAJOR heartburn), I have/had back pain (which thanks to chiropractic care and a little ice/heat therapy has pretty much gone away), I can't move as easily, Braxton Hicks contractions, etc. etc. etc... But I do have lots to say! Just not enough energy to sit down and actually type it out. I want to write about our babymoon to Maui (post coming soon) and gaining 40lbs (ok, maybe not really), Lamaze classes, our desire to have completely natural birth, and how in TWO MONTHS we're going to have a baby! It's getting real... and a little scary, I'm not gonna lie. I have TOTAL and complete faith in Rob as a father, but ME as a mother?! I'm going to be someone's MOM?! I realize right now that I'm "one of those." Baby baby baby... but for the past 7 months, that's all my life has revolved around - growing this baby!

But one thing I've been doing is checking into my blog to read my little ticker across the top. This week's made me laugh out loud - "I bet Mommy feels like I'm trying to claw my way out right now." I really can't put it into better words myself. That's exactly what it feels like sometimes. I feel less random kicks these days, but lots of movement. Lots of turning and shifting and I know this his butt/backside usually chill on the right side of my belly. I get elbowed frequently and kicked in the ribs too...and sometimes it really hurts! But I love it and it always makes me smile. He's growing and growing and growing... along with my belly and thighs. But man, I am so excited to meet this little guy! We love him SO much already and would do anything for him. 60ish days to go - that's 2 months. Little man, keep cooking! We'll be meeting you soon!

29 Weeks

Completely unrelated to this post view of Waikiki from Pu'u Ualaka's State Park

Tick tock! Here I am... 29 weeks (7 months) and into my 3rd trimester. I had my usual Tuesday doctor's appointment and I'm actually measuring one week ahead (30 weeks), but they won't be changing my due date. Just a month ago I was measuring one week behind, so I think the little one may be going through a growth spurt. And ironically enough, the first ultrasounds they do, are the most accurate for dating the pregnancy and determining due date. I guess it's pretty common for women to fluctuate around now. The heartbeat is good and strong, hanging out in the 130-150bpm range. It's crazy how she can almost immediately find the heart rate when using the doppler, when at the beginning she had to hunt for it. His heart beat makes a fun "swish swish swish swish" sound. But it is like music to our ears.

Not that I have any doubt about anything because I get lots of reassuring jabs, kicks, and pokes throughout the day that he's in there swimming around doing gymnastics. Not sure how much longer though since he'll soon be running out of room. In the next 10 weeks he'll more than double his weight! According to BabyCenter, he'll be topping off around 2.5lbs this week... and in 10 more weeks, he'll be anywhere from 5 - 9 (or more...eek!) pounds.

One less than awesome side effect of pregnancy is the pressure currently being put on my sciatic nerve. I've read conflicting things about whether that is actually what's happening, as true sciatica is rare. Either way, I've had pain in my lower back/hip/butt area for about 10 weeks now off and on. Yesterday it hit me full force and it was unbearable pain. It was a 10. I cried walking home from work. So today I got in to see a chiropractor that also specializes with pregnant women. After an hour of icing, soft tissue massage, laser therapy (intense pulses of light - no heat or anything weird), and gentle manipulation, I am walking virtually pain-free. I am FIRM believer in the benefits of chiropractic care. I'll be going back on Friday for a follow-up. He also gave me some stretches to do to help ease the pain.

"They" say the 3rd trimester is the hardest, but this soon into it, I'm feeling pretty good (other than above mentioned pain). We start Lamaze classes next week and a new season of Cupcake Wars starts! Exciting week ahead!!

3rd Trimester and a Knot on my Ass

So here I am. The home stretch - the 3rd trimester, which to be honest, felt like it'd never get here. I can't believe that I have about 12 weeks left before we get to meet our little man! I still feel like it's forever away, but when I think about it in terms of "less than 3 months to go," I start getting panicky and feeling WAY underprepared. Cue nesting.

Nesting - an instinct in mothers and mothers-to-be to get things ready (for lack of a better phrase) for baby. It's real. Oh, and it's not just humans... animals do it too. Well, hence the word nesting. Dictionary.com says this: "the tendency to arrange one's immediate surrounds...to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable, or in control." I'm building a nest. My first serious urge to nest resulted in a 4 hour trip to Babies-R-Us and new carseat. It has continued... the need to rearrange the bedroom so baby will have a place to sleep in his bassinet next to me. And thanks to my amaaaaaazing husband, the room is completely rearranged. We now have a 9-cube shelf for mostly baby stuff and this Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. Although, nothing is out of the boxes yet... and my next big project is to wash all the baby clothes.

This week also brought on the task of searching for a pediatrician. At my last appointment my doctor said, "have you found a pediatrician yet?" Me: blank stare, look at Rob. "No." So she explained the process, which I knew nothing about. We get to interview doctors. She gave us a handful of pediatricians in the area and comforting advice...obviously because my doctor is awesome and saw the panic in my eyes. Today I found the top 3 doctors I want us to meet and "interview." Views on immunizations? Treatment for sickness? Oh, the list goes on. So when I tried to call ALL 3 doctors today, two closed at noon on Thursdays and one was currently closed for lunch. Oh, Hawaii.

So, what about this knot on my butt? Every week I go in for the progesterone shots. The solution is mixed with castor oil and is very thick. One thing I've figured out is, if they inject it with a bigger needle, it goes in quicker and life is much better. If they choose to use a smaller needle (thinking it will be less painful??), the needle stays in for longer and then I get a knot near the injection site. Well, bonus! Last week, I got both!! (Sarcasm font). She starts the injection. Pulls it out and says, "I'm going to get a smaller needle." Comes back and starts round two. The next morning, I woke up with THE BIGGEST knot to date. It was a solid 2 inches long by 1 inch wide. And it was red. And it itched. Begin googling frenzy. Ok, it's normal for there to be a knot, but this knot was ridiculous, so I called the doctor. She confirmed that it was indeed normal and to massage as much as possible and ice it. Which I did and it is almost completely gone. I'm going to have a serious talk with my doctor next week and have her add in my chart, "BIG NEEDLE ONLY!" It doesn't hurt, like they think it does, and I always reassure them of this. And with approximately 7 shots left, I'm finally taking a stand.

So here we are. Approaching 29 weeks. We have a name to call our son, clothes for him to wear, a place for him to sleep, and a ridiculous amount of love for this boy we haven't met, but my ribs sure have felt. Oh, and my stomach is getting bigger by the minute.

 

25 Weeks

Yesterday I got a high-five from my doctor because my baby has reached viability. (For the record, I hate that word). Anyway, God forbid, if I were to go into labor now and have this baby, he'd have a chance at life. Not without lots of complications, but at least he'd have a chance. So baby boy, as excited as I am to meet you, STAY IN THERE AND GROW!! 

Everything is A-OK with the little one - heartbeat in the 130s but I was measuring 1cm behind, BUT that was of NO concern to the doctor, she reassured me...a few times. The measuring process also seems to be a little...subjective? They measure your belly from the top of the pelvic bone to the top of your uterus. The number of centimeters should correlate with the number of weeks you are. How exactly can one person tell where the top of my uterus is?? But since she's the expert and is happy with everything, I'll leave it at that. Also, two BONUSES! She was happy with my weight gain, for once, and I get to see her every 2 weeks, instead of every 4 weeks, now. (This is standard procedure, by the way). 

Besides getting my weekly shot in the butt yesterday, I also had to do the glucose screening, which will test me for Gestational Diabetes - something only pregnant woman can get, I guess. And then once you have the baby, supposedly it goes away. Anyway, everyone made it to be this big to-do because you have to drink this ultra-sweet punch type drink. I guess it was good that people hyped it up because when she handed me 6oz of sweeter, more syrupy version of pink stuff to drink, I thought, "this is it?" I swear I thought I was going to have to chug at least 32oz of that stuff. Anyway, it was lame and no big deal at all. I sat for an hour, which I really didn't because in that hour, the doctor saw me and I got the shot, then I had to get my blood drawn. 

Now... I know that we just got back from a wonderful trip to Virginia, but we're hoping we can get away just one last time for a mini "babymoon" in the next few weeks. We're thinking Maui or Kauai. I haven't been to either island, and it's a quick flight over to both, so hopefully we can figure out something soon. Free flights + free hotel (Rob's leftover Hilton points!) = a nice cheap mini-vacay. 

As for the week ahead... business as usual! I'm still working part-time and R goes back on-call tomorrow for the next few days. We got to meet our baby boy's future best friend earlier this week - our good friends we've met since moving out here (the husband was in training with mine) just had a boy! He's absolutely adorable!!

And even though, I think I've had my first experience with Braxton Hicks contractions, here's to an easy, low-key week ahead! 

Celebrate!

This weekend I turn 30 and I'm celebrating! I'm celebrating 30 years of growing, learning, living, and loving. I'm celebrating life and the life growing inside of me! I'm celebrating having made it halfway through this pregnancy. I have true and pure joy in my heart and a lot to be thankful for. And believe me, I am. 

Last night my husband took me out to dinner for my birthday, which is on Sunday. He picked a well known restaurant in Hawaii Kai, on the east side of the island. Besides being equipped with their very own koi ponds, the food being ridiculously delicious (we had THREE desserts), the phenomenal service, we had a fantastic view to boot. We got to watch the always fascinating outrigger canoes and SUP-ers on the calm water. 

Rob came home from his trip with a traditional lei for me to wear to dinner. It smelled amazing! But because I am hapai, I am wearing it open. It's Hawaiian ancient belief (that is still a practiced tradition), wearing a closed lei symbolizes the umbilical cord around the baby's neck. So we're taking no chances here! This goes along with the many things I LOVE about Hawaii: how deeply they still hold onto old traditions and their culture. 

I couldn't have asked for a better evening. And here's to a new decade - my 30s. Where I've been told, life truly begins.