da kine

Believe it or not (and sometimes I find it hard to believe), Hawaii is a part of the United States. You know... those little tiny islands floating around the middle of the Pacific? The Hawaiian language (and Pidgin) is a part of everyday language here and can be read on signs everywhere - "We appreciate your kokua!" "Mahalo for shopping at [insert store name]!" Even at Target.

In regards to Pidgin, if you're not local, don't even try to understand it, much less speak it. You'll look like an ass. To hear two people speaking pidgin is absolutely fascinating because I know they're speaking English, sorta, but I have no clue what they're saying. Even Barnes and Noble sells the New Testament of the Bible written in Pidgin. Also most folks who have lived here or are from here, have an accent and usually end their sentences with the word, "yeah." Kind of like a question - "Going to da beach today, yeah." "That makes sense, yeah." And that's in every setting - professional or not. Hawaiians hold onto their history and culture very dearly, and are very prideful of their land.

A few things we've discovered since living here:

It is completely normal to see people riding in the back of a pickup truck going down the freeway. No one even blinks at that. I don't think the "Click it or Ticket" campaign applies to them.

{That's just one guy, usually there are at least four or more}

"Plate lunches" are really big here. Spam is definitely on the menus almost everywhere, even McDonalds. Spam and eggs, anyone? Not gonna lie, I do love me some spam wasubi. Everyone knows what a malasada is and how incredibly delicious they are. (They're Portuguese donuts, by the way). Oh, and Hawaiians make a mean macaroni salad.

{typical plate lunch}

Everyone operates on island time. Rob was supposed to get his schedule for the next month on a specific day, but usually he gets it the next day, or whenever. At my airline, people would be freaking out, writing the union, calling the company. Here? Ah, no worries.

No one honks their horn, for anything. (Total change from LA). People are polite to a fault... it's normal (and frustrating) to come to a complete and total stop on the freeway because the person in front of you is letting another car "on." If you need to change lanes, the car you need to get in front of, will let you in. EVERYONE waves thank you or throws the "shaka," which I love. If they don't, you know they're a tourist.

Locals get a kama'aina discount at a lot of places. The discount you get for just living here (having a Hawaii driver's license) - we even got a discount at AT&T for switching our numbers to the 808 area code.

{source}

Even though it's almost always sunny, it rains just about everyday, and definitely every night, even if it's just a little. That's why we see so many rainbows and why it's so green.

{I think I have at least a hundred pictures of rainbows}

People said we'd experience "reverse discrimination" because a lot of locals aren't fond of us haoles. I am for once, the minority. However, I have experienced nothing but love and awesomeness since I've been here - and I figure if someone is rude to me, then they're just a rude person. And mostly, I think, they're referring to the people that come here and trash the beaches, are loud, disrespectful, and obnoxious. But who doesn't hate those kinds of people?

{source}

Errggg, maybe not? This logo is commonly seen on the back of trucks/shirts driven or worn by big Hawaiian dudes, and Rob and I almost always comment on what it means when we see it. After reading a little more about it, it seems it has to do with how Hawaii became a state in 1959. But even though that's definitely an intimidating/scary logo, we have experienced nothing but aloha since living here.  So I had to edit this because after Rob did some research on this logo (because we were talking about it again today), we found out what it actually means. And it's surprisingly, not bad and is kind of hilarious. And exactly the opposite of what it looks like it implies. It's a clothing company.  

To Defend Hawaii, is to defend the spirit of aloha. It is the resolve, accomplishment and state of mind, that is perpetuated through our culture and traditions. So that generations to come will live in our footprint. No where on God’s green earth can mirror the unconditional acceptance and support we show to family and strangers alike. It is our duty to preserve this spirit. To Defend Hawaii is to defend aloha; by any means necessary. {source}

Family (ohana) is so important here. There hasn't been one weekend I've spent at Ala Moana beach where I haven't seen numerous tents/grills/chairs and families grilling out (not just immediate family, but everyone, aunties, uncles, cousins included). Guys sitting around playing the ukulele. Surfboards laid out on the grass (or sand) while everyone's in eating or taking a break. Keikis running around, playing in the water. I'm honestly jealous, because I wish my family were here to do that with every Saturday and Sunday afternoon. And whoa, I'm pretty sure 50 charcoal grills going at the same time must be what Heaven smells like.

Really the only major disadvantages I've discovered to living in paradise is...the cost of living and getting things shipped out here (usually impossible)! I won't even tell you what we pay for our 460 sq. ft. 1-bedroom apartment and the lack of parking. Free parking? What is that? Although, I will say those things are quite on par with Southern California, and I'm sure any major city.

We rarely do our grocery shopping at the actual grocery store because it's so expensive! $6+ for a loaf of bread (and for a gallon of milk)? Yep. That's why we shop at Costco... with the rest of Honolulu. Rob and I literally have to give ourselves a pep talk before getting out of the truck to shop at Costco. It's much more affordable, even if we are running out of room in our apartment.

People will occasionally say, "oooh... but don't you miss the change of seasons...? I would miss that soooooooo much." Um, are you smoking crack? I live in HAWAII.  I get to wear tank tops, shorts and slippers every single day. I own only summer clothes. I'll never have to figure out what size clothes to buy my son depending on the season coming up. No, I don't miss the seasons. I go to the beach almost everyday and I hate the snow. So yeah, I guess if you're a "snow person," then living on a tropical island might not be for you.

{This day was filled with snorkeling & lounging on this empty beach}

Rob and I look at each other almost daily and say, "we live here" in awe that we actually do, because for us, it is nothing short of amazing. And even more awesome is that our son gets to be born and raised here. We get to be a family here.

We are so blessed.

i needed this

Every morning I wake up to an email from The Daily Love - a "daily e-multivitamin for your soul." A little cheesy, right? I started following The Daily Love on Twitter and liked their uplifting quotes and quips throughout the day, so I decided to sign up for their email too. Admittedly, I usually delete it if the title doesn't appeal to me right away. However, this morning I knew it was going to be exactly what I needed to hear at this exact moment of my life. 

You Are NOT Responsible For Their Emotions, OK? 
by Mastin Kipp (from The Daily Love)

We are not responsible for other people’s emotions. To try to be is to sign up for massive amounts of pain, distraction and to step away from our own personal power.

Remember, the only thing we have 100% control over in life is our response to what happens. We get to 100% choose what meaning we give the events of our lives.

To hold ourselves accountable for how other people feel takes us out of alignment in at least two ways:

1. We cannot control how they feel; only they can – by the meaning they give the events of their lives.
2. We take away the other person’s sovereign right and free will to choose how they want to respond.

This is not to say that we should not take the other person’s emotions, feelings and well-being into consideration or that we should not care about how the other person is feeling – that would be pure narcissism. We must genuinely care for the other person, and part of that caring is giving them the space, the time and the respect to let them choose how they want to interpret the events of their life.

When creating a healthy and loving relationship it is important for two people to be able to give each other this space, and at the same time genuinely care for the other person’s well-being.

The danger of not doing this is that we end up walking on eggshells depending on the emotional state of the other person, or they end up walking on eggshells around us.

No one is ever angry at us or because of us. They are angry because of how they are processing the world and then projecting that onto us. To try to make this our fault takes away our power and also takes away the power of the other person to change. 

In a healthy relationship we do not take things personally, but rather share what we are feeling and going through. Sometimes, we don’t even need to offer to fix anything, but rather just be present and accept whatever is going on in the moment.

When we take responsibility for our emotions, we let the other person off the hook and when the people we are in relationship with do the same, we are off the hook. Then we are free to share about our experience in an open and non-judgmental format. We no longer need to take things personally and genuinely love the other person for their light and their darkness.

When we realize we are not responsible for the other person’s emotions, we are free to stand in our own authentic power and expression. If this bothers the other person, we now know he or she may not be a match for us.

Let us not dim ourselves to please others.

Let us shine – together.

36 weeks

{hang loose creepy baby}

Yesterday was my 36 week appointment. Surprisingly, I lost one pound... first time in 8 months! But it was not intentional and the doc said it wasn't a big deal as long as the baby was growing. And yep, he's definitely still growing because I'm measuring one week ahead...again. Heartbeat was great - in the 150s. And another bit of news that came as a surprise is that I am currently 3cm dilated. (Even though there's a few other things that need to come together, you push the baby out when you're at 10cm). The baby is head down... and how does she know? Because she could feel his head. Yep. The doctor felt my baby's head. Although she did add that he's pretty high up, and not engaged. In one more week, he'll be considered full-term... so Baby, you gotta stay right where you are, and preferably for another 4 weeks until I know for sure your Daddy is going to be home! Luckily, the doctor isn't too concerned about an early arrival, and after talking with friends and family, I learned you can stay [however many centimeters dilated] for weeks.

We have one more Lamaze class to attend, and yesterday we went to a Breastfeeding class. It was great! Very informational and even though I've already done a lot of research on breastfeeding and how it's the best thing you can do for your baby, I definitely learned a lot. I do love these classes, because I don't think you can prepare enough, even though I'm completely sure all the preparation in the world will never compare to how it's actually going to be.

One thing that needs to happen right now is me packing my hospital bag. We finally got everything together, it just needs to go into a bag that can be easily grabbed on our way out the door to have baby. I'm trying to keep it simple, as my fellow mom friends recommended. But I still need to make a playlist of music we'll listen to, and a focal point to concentrate on when having contractions during labor.

And although this past week was pretty emotional (I'm 8 months pregnant, what do you expect?!), it has also been a great reminder of how ridiculously awesome my friends are. I am so grateful for my rock - my husband - who has more than "put up with" my more than usual craziness, and for friends, family, and even my neighbor, who (whom?) I've been able to just "let it all out" to. You are awesome.

baby's corner

With possibly less than a month to go (!!!!!), we're still pretty unorganized, as you can see. This is the little corner of our 1-bedroom apartment that will be set-up for baby upon his arrival. In order to fit all of that there, we Rob had to flip the bed around. And even though we can hardly squeeze through between the closet and the end of the bed to go to the bathroom, baby will have a place to sleep right next to mama.

We bought the cube storage and drawers from Target. The drawers contain all the washed baby clothes (only sizes 0-3 months because we have a TON of clothes), swaddling blankets, burp clothes, random toys and other things. So far we've got two different kinds of disposable diapers we're going to try out. Ideally, I'd love to attempt cloth diapering, but I'll have to figure that out later, or not. Both diapers brands I picked are two of the most "natural" kinds out there - Earth's Best and Seventh Generation. We have an assortment of newborn sizes and size 1 (just incase we get a bigger than expected baby), but we've also kept the receipts so we can return any unopened packages we don't use.

I absolutely LOVE our new diaper bag (who am I? Am I really talking about loving diaper bags?). It's a Ju-Ju-Be and very Hawaiian looking... but masculine enough that Rob is willing to carry it. (The men out here generally wear Aloha shirts to work/church/any business casual function/wherever, so to see a man with something "flowery" isn't really a big deal). And it's Hibiscus flowers.

We have the stroller there for now, but I'm sure it'll stay in the back of the truck when actually being used.

Boppy Pillow for nursing the little one.

All of the bath stuff in the corner was a part of the gift my co-workers gave to me. So very awesome! There are a few hooded towels, lotions, a sponge, and even a little bathtub!

The co-sleeper is a little bassinet-type crib that will actually be hooked to the side of the bed; the baby will be easily reachable, but not actually in the bed with us. We can also use it as a free standing bassinet. We'll probably only get a few months use out of it, but I'm hoping we'll be able to use until we move into a bigger space.

Moby wrap for baby-wearing, thank you to my sister-in-law!

A memory book to document all the little fun things our baby will do because I hear they grow pretty fast. There's also a little one-year calendar I bought because it has an airplane on the front. Couldn't resist.

As for the extra fan (there's no central A/C, people!), the cat, and the messy bed, welcome to our home.

hope

Ten years ago today, my Dad fell ill with what would up taking his life just 2 weeks later. Until two years ago, that was the single most worst event I had ever gone through.

Two years ago today, we lost our first baby boy, David Clark. And I would say, that has been the hardest event Rob and I have ever gone through as a couple, and it is the one thing that brought us much closer together. We had to rely on our faith more than ever. Even though admittedly, I went through a pretty dark time of anger at God (He can take it!), and not understanding or even caring to understand how this could happen or why it did happen. But two verses were always at the forefront of my mind:

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." -Isaiah 55:8

and

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Two years have passed, and wow, my mind is constantly blown at how our God works in ways I cannot even begin to wrap my head around. What He has done in our life since then. I have known couples to fall apart after devastating events like this, but I knew, and Rob knew, God would get us through it, and He did ten fold. It wasn't a quick easy fix or solution or healed hearts - we grieved for a long time. Our hearts hurt. Our spirits felt broken, but we have the most amazing story of faith and hope out of the worst story of our lives.

All of this may sound cliche, but it is truth. The events that rocked our worlds the most, has taught us many, many things and that even through devastating sorrow, God works in wonderful ways. In the darkness, there is light, there is always hope. 

how to get a stroller & car seat to hawaii

It is not an easy feat to have items shipped out here, especially big items like a stroller/car seat combo, for example. Honestly, it's almost downright impossible. Let me break it down for you.

After purchasing and then returning an apartment on wheels a stroller and car seat we half liked, we found exactly what we wanted. But like everything else sold in Hawaii, it was so much more expensive to buy here than online. But lo and behold, we found a retailer that would ship to Hawaii... or so we thought. (Side note: from previous experience, whenever we put in our shipping address on Amazon.com, we usually get the message, "Please change address. We do not ship to address entered." Grrrr.) This time was different. No shipping address denial message! It let's us place the order!! We're stoked that 1. we found the stroller/car seat travel system we actually wanted for much cheaper and 2. THEY SHIP TO HAWAII. Two days later, we get an email from Amazon/the retail store and they have canceled our order with no explanation. But we knew why. After going back and forth with these people, we were not getting the travel system from them.

So we start brainstorming... and this is what we come up with: order the travel system from a company recommended by my sister-in-law, have it shipped to Pennsylvania while Rob's parents are there for (at the time) a few more days, have Rob's dad ship it to us via FedEx with his airline discount. (Airline employees get a nice 75% discount on 2-day air shipping). However, to get this accomplished, we had to wake up at 4am to call as they opened at 10am EST, inquired about ordering the one we wanted in a certain color, and BAM, they were out. AGGGHHHHH!!! So, Rob hangs up and we continue to brainstorm. We just decide to go with the other color option, which was actually cheaper. Call back, place the order, get expidited ground shipping to PA for a small fee, and PRAY it makes it there before Rob's parents are scheduled to leave. Woo hoo, it does! Dad shipped it to us the next day and it is now in our possession! I didn't even go to the beach as to not miss the FedEx man. Oh, and yes, it was worth it to go through all of that instead of buying it here because we saved OVER $100 after it was all said and done. So yeah.

{hmmm... how does this thing open?}

 {ah hah!! ... by the way, this makes my heart melt.}

{"Get me the hell out of here." -Baxter}

35 weeks...errr...36 weeks?

{cupcake following a lovely lunch compliments of my co-workers}

Today was the first of my now weekly doctor's appointments, and I was measuring one week ahead. But this late in the game they're not changing my due date. At other various appointments, I've also measured one week behind, right on schedule and a week ahead. The measuring method isn't exactly scientific, as I'm sure I've previously mentioned. I also had the Group B Strep test today, which will determine if I have to have antibiotics while in labor or not. I'm not getting into what it is, etc., but if you really care then follow the link.

As for baby this week, he's 18 inches long and over 5lbs! No wonder it feels like he has NO room left in there. No more somersaults going on now, but lots of movement. It definitely looks like something is trying to escape from belly. Most of baby's organs are fully formed and in the next few weeks he'll continue to "gain mass," per my doctor. As will I, I'm sure.

We also got to ask our doc lots of questions about having a natural labor and delivery... that means without an epidural. I am happy to report that although some of the things we'd like aren't necessarily the norm for giving birth in a hospital...in America, (no back labor, freedom of movement during labor, no continuous IV or continuous fetal monitoring, etc.) she's game. We've done a lot of research on having a natural birth and are doing everything we can to prepare for it. The Lamaze classes have been so helpful and informational in many ways and is providing us with pain management breathing techniques and other helpful tips... like freedom to move around during labor. However, I wasn't too stoked to watched the Lamaze video filmed circa late-1970s, but that did prompt me to go ahead and schedule my bikini wax.

truth

"the cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea." 

~isak dinesen

{thank you Mama Surfs for showing me these words of truth...amen.}

Changes

Over the next few days, this blog will be going through some changes. I was so bored with the last "template" that I didn't even want to write. And as much as I'd love to not have to rely on Blogger's choice of templates and backgrounds, I just don't have the time or patience to scour the internet for something "better." So I'll be playing around with what's easily available.

I'd love to change the pictures of all the places we've been, but for some reason I can't get the sizing right anymore. When I try to add a new picture, it's too big... even when I check the "scale to smaller size" or whatever it says. I'm pretty sure it's because I've messed with the margins of the blog. So eventually, I'd love to change those up, but it'll be a bit later. So far I'm excited with the small changes I've made and am excited to see where it'll end up.

The Perfect Day

Yesterday practically embodied my idea of the perfect day.

I slept in until after 8am, which is completely unheard of these days. Rob and I lounged around and did our morning ritual of drinking coffee (his black, mine with a touch of hazelnut creamer & milk) and eventually eating breakfast. We finally headed over to Ala Moana Beach Park after Rob bought a long sleeve rash guard because I've been nagging him commenting on how much sun he's been getting lately. I get it! It's hard to reapply sunscreen when you're in the water for 5+ hours at a time! But unfortunately, skin cancer is obviously not uncommon here. So with Rob's new rashguard, we're off to the beach! Bonus: we scored an awesome parking spot! I set up my chair - as there is no way I am able to just sit on the sand, as I normally would. We jumped in the water for a few minutes to float around before Rob paddled out. It wasn't crowded and the water was warm and crystal clear.

After Rob paddled away to go surf, I got comfy (as possible) in my chair and picked up my book, "Babywise." When I finished the chapter, I jumped back in the water to float around and cool off. Side note: I'm so buoyant, I couldn't drown if I wanted to AND water is heaven for my pregnant body. But as I walked out to the water, pregnant belly out and all (normally, I don't let it all hang out), I saw a grandma-type staring at me. (Pregnancy also equals LOTS of eyes). My first thought was, "please don't comment on the fact that I'm letting it all hang out today because I really don't want to get rude with a grandma on my perfect day." But she never said anything... I swam out to about the middle of the channel, feet no longer touching the bottom, and I floated. I floated on my back, I treaded water (barely even had to!), and I floated more.

Then I saw the lady's grandson join her on the shoreline - he was probably eleven or twelve. This is the conversation I heard bits of:

Grandma: That lady out there is pregnant.
Boy: PREGNANT!?!? AND SHE'S FLOATING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!?!
Grandma: [inaudible response]
Boy: Can you float on your back grandma??
Grandma: Ooohhh no child.
[cue me floating on my back]
Boy: WOAH!! Look, SHE IS!!
[Mom joins Grandma and boy (her son) on the shore]
Boy: MOM... Why can't I go out THAT far?!?!
Mom: Because she can swim and you can't!!
[The end]

Glad I could be such a fascinating topic of discussion.

After Rob paddled back in, we were trying to come up with a plan of action. Our dilemma: it was just after 3:30pm and we can't park our 2nd car on the street until after 5:30pm (no street parking from 3:30-5:30). What should we do? Happy hour at Yard House, of course!!

So we drove to Waikiki and went to our super secret free parking spot where I proceeded to have a pregnancy meltdown (just like that) of having to sit and eat in a wet swimsuit. Cue us leaving to go home, me changing into dry clothes, and going BACK to the Yard House. Perfect day resumes. For half price happy hour appetizers, we got our normal boneless chicken wings, cheeseburger sliders, and a smallish ham/pineapple pizza.

We finished the evening with Frasier reruns (our favorite), reading in bed, and asleep by 10pm.

It was perfect because we were with each other, and yeah, we probably sound like an old married couple, but I am completely and totally happy with that. I have never been in such a wonderful place (figuratively and literally) in my life because I know I am blessed in so many ways.

The only way I can think of to make yesterday more perfect, is being able to do it all with our son. Cue heart melting.

Street View

While we were out today, I spotted the Google "street view" car. I was probably more excited than any normal person would have been, but I had always kinda wondered what it looked like... and now I know! And obviously, Google's headquarters is near San Jose, CA, so it's no surprise the car was shipped over from California... but I'm wondering what (where) they were going to film!

Addiction

Rob has never jumped on the Facebook bandwagon, and a lot of times, I wish I hadn't either. He accurately describes it as a "time suck." It's so true though! I easily get so sucked into reading the "news feed," clicking through pictures, refreshing to make sure I haven't missed anything new, but when I really think about it... there are very few people I'm actually real-life friends with on there. Most of them are acquaintances (last time we talked was in 6th grade...uh...) and most of them are hidden from my newsfeed, because I just don't care what they have to say. (Last time I checked, I had about 40 people hidden). But I feel bad for just outright un-friending them. And then I think, do people really care what I have to say? Probably not.

But regardless, it's like an addiction... and as silly as it sounds, I'm actually a little worried about how I'm going to do this. One of my best friends jumped off the Facebook bandwagon and at first I thought, "what the hell?" And then begged him to come back! But in reality, I was envious! "I wish I could just quit Facebook..." Well, I am. For one week. Just one little teeny tiny week. And then I'll reevaluate.