Obviously not Hawaii, but from my lovely weekend trip to San Diego!! If I didn't live in Hawaii, I would want to live in San Diego. More on that later... Happy Aloha Friday! It is Friday, yeah?
Oh how I've missed this little blog! It needs some serious updating! I mean for one, Cora is almost a year old and poor child doesn't even have a picture on front. To be fair, I think Christian is like 3 years old in the main picture and 1 year old in the side picture. And my hair, not even close to that anymore. I think Rob is the only one that hasn't changed. First order of business, update blog. And by first I mean, sometime when Rob gets home and I get around to it.
I've been on the struggle bus for a while, and this little corner of the internet has definitely gone to the way back burner. Truthfully, I miss it, but I really never feel like I have any time to do this... unless say, it's before both kids are awake. Like right now. And if I'm being honest that is not right now because I just heard Cora cooing from her crib. Thankfully she likes to play after she wakes up, so I have a tiny bit of time. The tiniest. Ok, time up.
It's hard to pinpoint what I'm struggling with really. Mostly myself. On the outside, everything is great. And truly, everything is great, but I am still a bit down. The main thing is feeling like I don't have a village. Here. On this side of the island. I have met some WONDERFUL people out here, but many have moved away, or are in the process of moving in the next few months. There's a huge military presence out here, especially on west Oahu, and usually they're only here for 2-3 years. Or people move because as beautiful as Hawaii is, it is HARD to live here. Most people don't have the help of family unless you were born and raised here. And I'm sorry, but $20/hour for a babysitter is just ludicrous.
Because you know I originally spelled it wrong.
I am so so so thankful for the few friends I do have out here, and the times we can get together.
Overall, I'm really missing the sense of community I felt I had when we lived in Aina Haina.
Back when I had Cora, I did decide to join a MOMS Club out here, but it wasn't what I expected. Disclaimer: A few moms from the group that I have met have been so very nice. However, overall, when there was a big group, I've never really felt welcome. I'll just leave it at that. I also joined Stroller Strides, but hated the location. However, the biggest issue was the timing. It interferes with Cora's nap time, so that's just one of those 'it is what it is' things. I tried to join up again when they started a Ko'olina location because THE VIEWS, but again, Cora wasn't having it, and then they eventually stopped that location anyway. Oh well. Maybe another time!
But you know, I get it. I know how busy being a stay-at-home-mom can be. Especially when you have more than one munchkin. I also know how important it is to feel like you're not doing this alone. So I am very very thankful for the few friends that I regularly do see. And haven't moved. Yet. Hah.
I found this article so SPOT ON. Gosh, I can't even pinpoint a sentence from the article to use as a general summary because it's all SO true! "America’s cultural glorification of individualism and freedom do not prepare women for the intense need for family after giving birth. We prepare our babies with the softest swaddling cloths, organic diapers and the perfect nursery, but we are not encouraged to anticipate our own needs, especially that of simple connection with others." Connection with others. There it is.
Another struggle I've had is pretty typical. Losing weight. I joined a gym that I am loving! It's all classes (no standard gym equipment), and the sense of community is really strong. I love it. I am getting stronger, but the weight is not coming off. Yes, muscle weighs more than fat, etc. etc. etc., and I'm only weighing myself about once every 2 weeks or so MAYBE... but despite my efforts, the scale is NOT budging. I will take some of the blame for this as I know my eating habits are a little less than stellar, but I was hoping to avoid counting calories... or macros... because ugh. But it looks like I'm going to have to. I'm also discouraged that I'm signed up to run a half-marathon on my birthday and have done little to no training, at all. So I don't feel ready for it and at this point, I don't even know if i can do it without injuring myself.
I am so very fortunate that I have a husband that encourages me to get out there and hang with the girls for the weekend at a fancy resort, or visit my best friend in San Diego, or takes the kids to the park so I can get an hour of quiet. But I think everyone already knows that Rob is awesome. ;) And I can't believe we'll be celebrating 10 years of marriage next month! Crazy!
I'm really looking forward to mom's trip out here in April, especially since she'll be here for Cora's 1st birthday party.
And oh yeah, the kids! Hah! I need to write an update on both of them. I will, I promise. But here's some pictures that you probably already saw on Facebook. Love them!!!
Overall, this is just a really hard season for me. But as Jayme texted me yesterday, "you will shine again." And I do hope that to be true.
